Learning what a crap process it all is and worried

We met up with a couple the other evening who has just adopted 2 children. We wanted to get hints, tips, advice and learn more. We got all of that and then some! I was a great night, lovely people, we learnt a lot, but it made us so depressed. There are so many hoops to jump through with adoption, so many potential outfield. They are looking to catch you out all the time. I wonder if we can do it? We want a family. Adoption will give us that family, but I am worried. One comment that has stuck with us is when she said 'they will never be your children'. Is this really how all adoptive parents feel? Now I know she loves those kids, she is great with them, but suing that shocked and worried me.

Contacted an adoption agency

I called an adoption agency yesterday. I thought it would just be a quick call, giving my details and asking for a date an information session. It turned into a 45 minute phone interview! There were so many questions asked about my situation, DH situation, what type of a child we would like, who would be the the primary parent, how I felt about open adoption, how long I would take off work and when I went back to work what would happen to the child. The social worker seemed happy with all my responses except what would happen to the child when I go back to work. I said my MIL is very experienced with kids and she could look after him/her if and when I go back to work. What was the right answer?!? She also said we need 6 references. What kind of references are needed? Who are best to ask? We are going to an information evening on 21st November!