Another year I am not a mother.
Another year I will not being seeing my own mother.
Another year I shall keep myself busy and pretend its just like any other crappy day in my life.
Let's hope next year I will be a mother.....
Sunday, 18 March 2012
Sunday, 11 March 2012
My experience of endometriosis- part 1 - the journey
This will be in a few parts as I do not think anyone could cope reading all sbout my endo in one go!
In honour of endo awareness month I am going to talk about how endo has affected (and ruined) my life.
I remember being 15 and leaning against a fence in agony and being sick because of my period pain. I remember telling my mum and she thinking I was exaggerating. I ended up going on the pill at 16 to try to control the pain which helped a little.
At the age of 18 I got rushed to hospital with suspected appendicitis, which turned out not to be the case. My doctor took my history and suspected endo. I had my first laparoscopy a few months later which confirmed I had grade IV/IV endo, some of which was lasered away (sadly this always grows back).
G
A few more years of being on the pill, marriage to my long term BF and then we started trying for a baby. Coming off the pill was awful. The period pains were hard to cope with and the amount of bleeding was so bad. We tried for nearly a year, but I had to go back on the pill a couple of times to calm my endo down.
I saw an gynae who recommended another lap. I had the surgery and then woke up to find out they did nothing but examine me inside as my endo was so bad that surgery to remove the deposits was too risky due to potential bleeding. I was put on 6 months of depo zoladex to calm my endo down. This put me in a state of menopause. Let me tell you, menopause at the age of 25 is not fun. I know we will all go through it, but not artificially at that age!!
My 3rd laparoscopy caused me a lot of problems as I had my appendix removed, my broad liagents removed and a mass on my liver biopsied, all due to the damage my endo has caused. One of my tubes was also found to be blocked and the other abnormal.
It was recommended we jump straight to IVF due to my endo and rubbish tubes. We have go e through 3 fresh Ivf cycles and 2 frozen cycles do far. We are about to do our third frozen cycle after I finish down regulating. So far it's been a BFN every time.
I feel endo is preventing me from having my dream of a baby, of a family.
Next posts to come will be more about the daily pain and the emotional aspects of endo
In honour of endo awareness month I am going to talk about how endo has affected (and ruined) my life.
I remember being 15 and leaning against a fence in agony and being sick because of my period pain. I remember telling my mum and she thinking I was exaggerating. I ended up going on the pill at 16 to try to control the pain which helped a little.
At the age of 18 I got rushed to hospital with suspected appendicitis, which turned out not to be the case. My doctor took my history and suspected endo. I had my first laparoscopy a few months later which confirmed I had grade IV/IV endo, some of which was lasered away (sadly this always grows back).
G
A few more years of being on the pill, marriage to my long term BF and then we started trying for a baby. Coming off the pill was awful. The period pains were hard to cope with and the amount of bleeding was so bad. We tried for nearly a year, but I had to go back on the pill a couple of times to calm my endo down.
I saw an gynae who recommended another lap. I had the surgery and then woke up to find out they did nothing but examine me inside as my endo was so bad that surgery to remove the deposits was too risky due to potential bleeding. I was put on 6 months of depo zoladex to calm my endo down. This put me in a state of menopause. Let me tell you, menopause at the age of 25 is not fun. I know we will all go through it, but not artificially at that age!!
My 3rd laparoscopy caused me a lot of problems as I had my appendix removed, my broad liagents removed and a mass on my liver biopsied, all due to the damage my endo has caused. One of my tubes was also found to be blocked and the other abnormal.
It was recommended we jump straight to IVF due to my endo and rubbish tubes. We have go e through 3 fresh Ivf cycles and 2 frozen cycles do far. We are about to do our third frozen cycle after I finish down regulating. So far it's been a BFN every time.
I feel endo is preventing me from having my dream of a baby, of a family.
Next posts to come will be more about the daily pain and the emotional aspects of endo
Saturday, 10 March 2012
Bad blogger
I've not been up to much and not been blogging because of it. I have been down regulating and that has been hard and stressful. AF started yesterday, about 5 days late which has been frustrating. This does mean however that I can start on the pill tomorrow along with my down reg. Hopefully the side effects will calm down.
My bad blogging recently has meant I have missed endometriosis awareness week which was last week (in the UK). I am very frustrated about this as I really wanted to write a post about my endo and how affects me and everyone else. I know my followers are aware of my endo, but I'm not sure if some people really understand about what endo is etc. I shall prepare a post when I've got my writing hat on.
I'm struggling at the moment as in a lot of pain and quite down. Sadly I can not even enjoy a glass of wine as on pain killers!
This has been a pointless post, but I am not dead, just letting you all know!
My bad blogging recently has meant I have missed endometriosis awareness week which was last week (in the UK). I am very frustrated about this as I really wanted to write a post about my endo and how affects me and everyone else. I know my followers are aware of my endo, but I'm not sure if some people really understand about what endo is etc. I shall prepare a post when I've got my writing hat on.
I'm struggling at the moment as in a lot of pain and quite down. Sadly I can not even enjoy a glass of wine as on pain killers!
This has been a pointless post, but I am not dead, just letting you all know!
Thursday, 1 March 2012
1st week of down reg injections
I started my injections 8 days ago and initially all was fine and I thought 'I can do this, no problem!'. I then started to get side effects on day 4. Mainly the odd mild mood swing or slight headache. I now am getting constant headaches. They are bearable, just, but very annoying. I am also snappy and emotional. I cried three times this morning before work! Not sure what set me off!
I appreciate the encouragement from followers. I am waiting to have a bleed in a few days, and then on day 2 I will start the pill as well as the Suprecure as a add back therapy to hopefully control the side effects. Until then it's menopausal Nic with headaches and mood swings! Oh I am also extremely achy and a bit tired!
I appreciate the encouragement from followers. I am waiting to have a bleed in a few days, and then on day 2 I will start the pill as well as the Suprecure as a add back therapy to hopefully control the side effects. Until then it's menopausal Nic with headaches and mood swings! Oh I am also extremely achy and a bit tired!
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