Where has Nic gone?

I feel like an empty shell. I am depressed, I am moody, I am grumpy, I am down, I am not myself.

If I am like this before I even start my injections, what am I going to be like once I have all those hormones pumping around my system?

I think I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that my friend is PG but hasnt told me yet. I am, trying hard not let on that I know, trying hard not to be jealous. It is alwful, I should not be jealous, she is a fellow IFer, she had a misscarriage, she deserves this baby. I am very happy for her. Its just something about being with her all day at work knowing she is pregnant that is bringing me down.

I have no patience, I am sick of waiting for a baby, sick of waiting for IVF and I am sick of feeling like this. I do not like myself at the moment.

My blankets

Here are the two blankets that I have Crocheted. The first one is not great, but it was good practice and I can still use it.


I like the yellow and white one, quite proud of that one.



Sorry the pictures are not very good.

Now you all know what I have been doing with my time. This boring wait for my IVF to start.
I am in the process of making another one for my friend who is pregnant as a gift.

I am bored and depressed at the mo. July 10th cant come quick enough!!

I think she is pregnant

My friend at work who was TTC for 2 years, got pregnant and had a miscarriage at 11 weeks is pregnant again I think. She hasn't announced it yet as I don't think she is far gone. I am sure she is pregnant as she is avoiding drinking tea, keeping away from cat poo at work and running away from the x-ray machine when we take x-rays.

I am fricking excited for her if it is correct! She has been through so much heartache which a lot of you guys have been through as well. I wanna hug her and scream and laugh and cry all at the same time when she announces it if I am correct.

I will be a little jealous, I will cry a few tears for myself, but for some reason a PG announcement from a fellow IFer is a little easier. It does mean though that if my IVF works we will be having babies a few months apart!!

I have no news to report as far as I go, I am on the pill, I have 23 more days until I get to start my injections. I am so ready for this IVF!

Had a great weekend

For once, I had a great weekend. Normally we sit at home, catch up on TV, go for walks with the dogs and thats about it. This weekend we were busy, a good busy. Friday night we went out with a bunch of DH's work mates, had a mexican, a few drinks and went bowling. Saturday DH and I went to an open air gig and saw a few bands, including one of our favourite bands, the Doves, was an amazing night. Today we have caught up on a few jobs in the house and had a good day. I have felt quite happy this weekend, I have felt relatively relaxed. Problem is, I am still thinking about our IVF, wishing this month would go quicker, wishing I was pregnant already.

Nothing will truly distract me, nothing will make this month go fast.

27 days untill I start my injections!!

One month from today...

... I will be starting my injections!!!

AF is still here and is painful as ever but I am hopefully going to be saying good bye to her on Saturday. I shall slam the door on her ass on the way out! I do not want to see her again for at least another year!

Time is going slow, I am wishing that I could go to sleep and wake up and it be July already. I am ready for this, I am ready for IVF, I am ready to have a baby (as ready as anyone can be!!).

What shall I do for the next month to occupy myself? Crochet another blanket?!? I have nearly finished my second one! Maybe I shall post pictures of them soon!

Nearly starting my IVF journey

I have come off the the pill, due to have CD1 on Monday and then back on pill after a week of having a period. I then need to be on the pill for 21 days and then 10th July I start my injections!!! I am not looking forward to having a period, hopefully the pain will be less than usual as I am on the pill these days whilst waiting for IVF. I am hoping this is my last period that I will have for the next year! How amazing would that be!! For once I am vaguely looking forward to getting my period!

I have not been blogging much recently as nothing to talk about. I can only blog about the boring wait of IVF so many times!!

DH is sadly away for 6 days working. I am bored of us never spending time together. He is either away working or I am on duty working weekends. I really miss being with him. Thankfully he will be around during my IVF and injections to help me and support me.