PUPO!

Had my transfer a couple of hours ago. They put both back in as the second blastocyst was showing signs of life which is good! The transfer this time was great. I had a different doctor and he scanned me at the same time as putting the catheter in and I watched the air bubbles go in with the two embryos. Was very cool!!

I am now hopefully and excited at the moment. I know this 2ww week will be up and down as normal. My test date is the 11th October and again I do not have a beta, just pee on a stick and call them with the results which is crap!!

I so hope this works. I have one great blastocyst and I semi OK blastocyst, if at least one could stick that would be amazing!!

Clinic called...

.... with some good news! One embie has definitely survived the thaw. The other is a bit 'ify' at the moment but they will keep watching and will most prob stick it back in as well as there is nothing to lose!! I am so pleased we have something to transfer!!!

Now have to wait a couple of hours before I go in for the transfer. I have had to call in 'sick' today for work. I feel so bad, I hate screwing people over, but a baby is far more important that work!!

In a few housr I will be PUPO!! Bring on the 2ww!!

FET tomorrow!!

I am so excited and nervous!! The clinic called to confirm they were defrosting both of my embies tomorrow morning. I should have a call by 10am to confirm they have survived and then should be going in about 1pm for the transfer!!

This cycle has been a rocky ride, I hope that means the ending will be good and we get to transfer both and that they stick!!

I wish to say congratulations to my last IVf cycle buddy Julia for her BFP!! I am so pleased for you! I really hope that means we will both be PG togther! Hope this is my cycle as well!!

Another scan! An Endometrioma

I called my clinic this moirning about my flash bleed on Saturday. I managed to get another scan. My lining is looking good at 8.4mm and there is no fluid in my uterus. It looks like my 'cyst' on my left ovary is a endometrioma which keeps bleeding.

Apparently the endometrioma and the random bleeds will not affect my FET and implantation. I want to believe this but I am still worried that this cycle is doomed from the start.

I have been told I need to rest. What does that mean? Is it stict bed rest or light duties or what? The nurse didnt say and I forgot to ask, had so many other things on my mind.

Anyone have a endometrioma that has not been a problem with getting pregnant? What kind of rest if any were you put on?

When will this rollercoaster end? I really hope it ends in a BFP! Not sure how much more stress and up and downs I can take!

Not another bleed....

I cant believe I am having another bleed like the one yesterday morning. It seems to have nearly stopped but I am panicking. Why am I bleeding? What does this mean?

Should I cancel the FET as this just does not feel right?

DH said to me this evening: 'maybe because this cycle is going badly it will end in positive becuase last cycle was nearly perfecvt and it ended in a negative'. I replied 'sadly life does not work that way!' Bless DH for trying to stay hopeful when I am not feeling any hope.

To top things off my dog Maddy is poorly sick, got gastritis I think, hope its nothing more major.

Scan went ok(ish)

Had a different nurse today (again) and so had to explain my history again. She asked me how I was doing and I told her not good. I had bad guts, losing my hair, bad dandruff and had a flash bleed this morning (thankfully this has stopped now).

When she scanned me I was nearly in tears, she was so rough and couldn't find anything! No one has had a problem scanning me other than it is sometimes tender. She eventually found my cyst was still there, but my uterine lining is about 8mm and so thick enough.

After the nurse speaking to the doctor and another nurse, it was decided we will go ahead with the FET! I do my last lupron injection this evening and then start my progesterone suppositories tomorrow! My FET will be going ahead on Thursday if all continues to be well.

In less than a week I will be PUPO as long as I do not bleed again and my two frosties thaw ok. I realise they are both still big if's. Please let this work this time.

Help I am bleeding

I am meant to be having a scan in a couple of hours but I have started bleeding!?! Why? What does this mean. I guess I will be cancelled. So upset. Why oh why? Why is AF here, she is not welcome

Scan tomorrow but not feeling well

I am hoping that my lining is looking good and I will get my date for my frozen embryo transfer.

Problem is, I have what I lovingly call the shits and spits. At lunch time today I had to sit on the loo with a bowl on my lap as my guts decided to empty themselves both ways (sorry, TMI!!) and I stayed there for about three hours! Five hours later I am feeling a bit better but a little delicate. Hopefully this will go for my scan tomorrow

I am trying hard to not even think about my FET and try to take a bit more of a relaxed approach. I was so uptight and stressy for my last IVF cycle and we all know how that ended. Maybe the whole 'if you just relax' and throw in some pills, injections and a FET, you make get pregnant theory might work this time!!

Counting down the days

until our FET. Today is day 4 of meds. I find that doing injections helps to pass the time! It is still a boring wait but the injections seem to make it go a little faster!

I am having a few side effects, mainly headaches, bloating and very bad upset guts again. I am managing, I would do anything for us to get our baby.

I go back in on Friday for my scan to check the thickness of my lining and then will get the official date for the FET, but think it will be Thursday 30th September.

Thanks to all for the words of encouragement and good luck to all who are cycling or PUPO at the mo! Lets hope its BFP's this time round!

Started my FET meds!

Today is CD3 and I have started my progynova 3x 2mg and my 30iu suprecur (lupron). I am feeling tiredand have a headache, surely side effects can't have started already! I think it's just because I have been so stressed and not slept well.

I am sadly on duty all this weekend. Hope I am not too busy so I can look after myself and nor have too much stress or pressure on me. Two of my co-workers are leaving end of November meaning I will be working a 1:3 outof ours emergency cover nights and weekends ad well as my normal 54 hour week! I am worried work will be too much for me and it will be detrimental to my ttc and potential pregnancy. Oh how I wish I had a simple, easy, stress free and not physical job sometimes!

I am so excited and hopeful about this cycle. I really hope it works. I want my June 2011 baby!!

This cycle is going ahead!

Had another scan today. Great news, the cyst has shrunk a little, they think it's an inactive corpus luteum. I am starting on suprecur(lupron) and 6mg oestrogen tomorrow. I have another scan in 10 days and hopefully FET a few days latter!

I am so pleased we can go ahead and not had to delay. Of course, if I had to go on the pill I would have done, I want my body to be right and ready.

I am now so excited and hopeful. All my hopes ate pinned on this cycle. Of it doesn't work I am going to fall and crash so badly.

AF is here!

Never thought I would be so pleased to see her! My period arrived at about 5am, only four and a half days late! I am feeling crap and in loads of pain, but pleased to have it here. I have another scan tomorrow morning to see if the b**t**d cyst has gone. I doubt it, miracles don't happen to me.

Scan today but still no AF *updated*

Still no AF and pregnancy test was negative. I called the clinic and they still want me to have a scan to see what is going on. I shall update in a bit.

*update*

My scan was not great, my lining is too thick which is not a surprise as I have not had a period. The bad news is that lefty ovary has a big ass cyst on it. I am pissed off. My FET is delayed at the mo. I am to wait for my period, call the clinic and book another scan. If the cyst has gone we will carry on with the FET as planned. If not I will have to go on the pill. If that does not work then I guess the will have to aspirate it. I am dreading that as I presume it is the same procedure as a retrieval and that was bad for me last time.

I am so devastated. The fact that we had two frosties, the fact that we could do a FET so soon has helped me to have something to focus on, to remain calm(ish), to remain hopeful(ish). Now I feel that hope and calm slowly slipping away.

Where the hell are you AF, you are never 4 days late. Hurry up and come and tell the bloody cyst to piss off!

Anyone had a cyst on your ovary and what was done about it? How did it affect your cycle and IVF/FET?

Where are you AF?

I have never wanted to get my period so badly! It was due Thursday pm and Saturday PM it is still not here! I am panicking. Has IVF screwed up my cycles? I am meant to be having my baseline scan for my FET on Monday. What do I do if my period does not show?

As far as the obvious goes, I cant be pregnant as we have not had sex during my fertile time as DH was away on business. The only way I could be pregnant was if my IVF did actually work, I imagined my period last month and I am 8 weeks pregnant. Oh if only that was true! That could be why I have put on a few pounds?!?

Question about FET and assisted hatching

I am waiting for AF to turn up. I should be on CD1 tomorrow. I am worried that AF will be late. I need to call the clinic tomorrow and book a baseline scan for Monday. I am hoping that all will be well and they will book it even if AF is not here. I am feeling twinges in my belly though, AF is not far off.

I am doing a FET with 5 day blastocysts. Do they try to do it to match your natural cycle? If so, they would be doing the FET on CD15 and I do not normally ovulate until CD16. That is not right is it?

Another question: Is it normal to do assisted hatching? My clinic does it automatically. Hopefully this is a good thing. I presume it will increase the chances of implantation.

I am so excited but nervous that we will be cycling again so soon!!

A quick update:

I have not posted for a few days as I am sick of writing 'poor me' posts and writing about nothing. Sadly I still do not have anything of any substance to write! I am in limbo, I am waiting. I ovulated this weekend but DH was away and we were having a month off. Such a strange and frustrating time. We should be TTC, not doing nothing!

I am awaiting AF to show and then I get my baseline booked in ready for my FET.

I am very excited about the FET, but I am also very scared. Scared of them not surviving the defrosting, scared of getting a BFN, scared of having to go through an IVF cycle and egg retrieval etc. Mostly scared of not ever having a baby.

I am struggling with my friend at work who is pregnant. She is having her 20 week scan a couple of days before my FET. She is happily pregnant and getting bigger. I am pleased for her but am jealous. I hate myself for it. She had her 12 week scan a couple of days before my IVf transfer. It is hard she is reaching great milestones and I am still trying to get pregnant. She knows of my IF troubles and she is asking how I am and is not doing anything to upset me on purpose, it is just the usual she is pregnant and I am not issues.