Off sick

I did it, I have taken a sick day. I never do this unless I am dying! I really needed this day off though. My cramps are really bad but I am also very exhausted and mentally drained. As I mentioned in my last post, I am not in a good place right now and I found it was affecting my decision making and concentration which is not good in my job. Therefore this is also a mental health day!

I spent all morning in bed sleeping and reading. I tried to take my dog for a quick walk as she was restless but I got to the park and was exhausted. I struggled to walk back and when I did get home, I collapsed on the sofa. This is not me and not normal, even for me and my AF. I am however bleeding loads. I think maybe I am anaemic as my skin colour is not good and (TMI alert!) I am having to change my tampon every 2 hours! I have to set my alarm in the night so I can get up and change my tampon! In the night I can only go every 3 hours before having to change my tampon.

I think I will be off to bed again in a bit for another nap. I cant believe how at the moment my exhaustion is worse than my cramps. I need to feel better as I am on duty all weekend again and I am sure I will be busy as work has been so busy recently, especially phone calls and emergencies in the middle of the night.

Terrible night - why?

So last night I started to feel nauseous and light headed and have a head ache. I feel asleep on the sofa at 8.30pm and then eventually went to bed early. All night I kept waking up feeling sick and having a head ache. What does this mean? Am I coming down with a bug or am I pregnant? I am only 8 DPO so could it be the beginning signs of pregnancy? I still don't feel like eating, only ate half my meal last night and no breakfast this am. This really isn't normal for me!!

Also the last two nights I have kept dreaming that I am pregnant. I woke up in tears once because I knew that it was only a dream and not true at the moment. I also dreamt that I woke up this am and took a pregnancy test and it was positive. Are my dreams trying to tel me something or am I so hopeful and wanting to be pregnant that my dreams are playing tricks on me?

Anyway I got up this morning and took a pregnancy test, one of those that says it is a 7 dpo test that is very sensitive. Well I got a BFN!! I am a bit disappointed as my dream had let me down, but it is too early to take a test really so I am not counting that one!! I will now do as I should do and wait for my period. If it comes I have my answer and if not I will test with a proper digital pregnancy test.

I just hope/want/wish I was pregnant. If I was pregnant I wouldn't mind feeling like this, but if it is just a bug giving me false hope I am going to be REALLY pissed off!!! lol. What does it mean?

TTC has made me realise just how impatient I am and how time seems to stand still for me!

what does it mean?

I have had pain and twinges in my belly today, bit like period pains but not quite. I ovulated 6-7 days ago, could it be implantation pain? Guess it could be nothing and I am grasping at straws. I am not due my period for another week so I guess it is always possible? Problem is, my signs are hard to interpret as I have endometriosis so throughout the month I get pains that don't seem to correlate with anything.

Do you find that when you are TTC you start reading into signs more than you normally would. Problem is, I have a painful belly today and feel a little sick with no appetite. I haven't been sick but for me not to fancy eating is a big deal!! I must be unwell if I am not pregnant because I have quite a large appetite!

I hope, I wish I am pregnant.....