I am back from my trip to the USA! I am exhausted, been up for 36 hours so this will be a short post.
I got to meet Madison, my niece! She is 4 months old and she is ADORABLE! She looks like me at that age. She is very smiley, has beautiful large eyes and is a good baby. I loved spending time with her and my SIL and bro. I was so sad to say goodbye. I enjoyed meeting her, however I know that at 4months old she will not remember me! I may not get to meet her again until she is 5 years oldish which is hard to get my head around.
It was hard to be around a baby 24hours a day and it not be mine. I wanted her to be mine, I had this ache in my heart every time I held her or looked at her. I managed to get over this though, I told myself, she is my niece, I will always be part of her life one way or another. I am so happy for my SIL and bro, but there was a slight jealousy. I did learn a lot from being around them, picked up a few pointers for when I have my baby. It will happen, I will have my baby, when I don't know though! (The power of positive thinking eh!)
I will write more later about rest of my trip later. I am off to bed now
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Welcome back and you do sound happier. Even if it is tinged with missing your little niece.
ReplyDeleteGlad you had a good time with your family:) And that you made it safely back home.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the pain part about your neice though. I think you dealt with that alot better than I would have if I were in the same situation. (not that I wouldn't have LOVED my neice "if I had one")
It just would have made be feel sad while TTC because I wanted it so bad myself. If that makes any since at all...
I can understand where your coming from about that. I know it doesn't help much. But I CARE VERY MUCH!!!
Take Care,
Hannah