What a shit year it has been for so many (and a great year for some of course!) So many of my bloggy friends are now pregnant or have had their baby and I am so pleased for them. However a few of my bloggy friends have suffered so much, either with failed cycle after cycle or devastating losses. I am sorry to you all, you did not deserve this, my heart goes out to you all.
For me his year has not been great. I did not get my BFP that I had hoped for, instead 2 laps and 6 months of ovary suppression and thats about it. The only good thing that came out of this year is that we bought our first house!!
This year I hope for a BFP. Is that too much to ask for? I shall contine to work hard to get my body in shape, I shall continue to TTC. I have an IVF appointment 1st feb. I hope it brings me hope and an eventual baby! No new years resolutions as the are never kept, just goals, hopes and dreams. Bring on 2010!
Showing posts with label 2010. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2010. Show all posts
Friday, 1 January 2010
Saturday, 24 October 2009
Where I had hoped to be:
This is my 200th post! Wow, I write a load of crap!! I thought that I would write a great, thought provoking post that would sum up my journey so far, of where I am and where I had hoped to be. Well here goes......
A year ago I visited my surgeon regarding my endometriosis and trying to get it sorted so that I could get pregnant. A year ago my DH and I was extremely serious about having a baby. A year ago I gave up smoking. I then proceeded to get depressed about not getting pregnant each cycle and then I put on weight. I had my 2nd laparoscopy in June and found out my endometriosis was too extensive and risky and so have had 6 months of ovary suppression and been on a break from TTC. I am now having my 3rd lap on 24th November to clear me out and assess my chances of conceiving. I have also lost a fair amount of weight.
When I started this journey (and sadly I am no where near the end, still at the beginning really) I thought that I would be pregnant by now. Not massively about to pop pregnant, just a little bit pregnant. I thought I would have my lap in June and that would make me more fertile and then by now I would just be peeing on a stick and getting a BFP. I was sadly deluded. I was way too optimistic and not realistic. Instead I have another lap to get through and recover from, I have another few months untill my body will start cycling, another few months untill I can start TTC again. Instead, I am grumpy, depressed, having hot flushes and am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
I cant wait untill the new year. I used to have a flashing icon of 2 lines in 2009 which was swiftly removed after my lap in June. I am now looking to start TTC in the new year and getting my BFP in 2010. DH and I are having serious talks about IVF and wanting to get put on the NHS waiting list so we can start an IVF cycle. I think that there is no point going through a year of try to conceive naturally if my surgeon thinks it wont happen. What is the point of trying for another year if it wont happen. I am an impatient person. I have been wanting a baby for over four years now. (I know some of you guys out there have been waiting longer, I hope it happens soon!)
It took me a long time to get to the point where I could cope off the pill and start TTC. To have 6 months of suppression and another lap just feels like time has stood still and I have been going backwards, this whole year has been a waste of time. I would never wish a break on anyone. Although a break is a good time to get your body and mind in shape it is still tough, boring and frustrating.
This year has been an amazing year for some of you and I am so happy whenever I see an IF get a BFP, it gives me hope that one day it will be me. I just hope that day comes soon...... bring on 2010 and my BFP!!
A year ago I visited my surgeon regarding my endometriosis and trying to get it sorted so that I could get pregnant. A year ago my DH and I was extremely serious about having a baby. A year ago I gave up smoking. I then proceeded to get depressed about not getting pregnant each cycle and then I put on weight. I had my 2nd laparoscopy in June and found out my endometriosis was too extensive and risky and so have had 6 months of ovary suppression and been on a break from TTC. I am now having my 3rd lap on 24th November to clear me out and assess my chances of conceiving. I have also lost a fair amount of weight.
When I started this journey (and sadly I am no where near the end, still at the beginning really) I thought that I would be pregnant by now. Not massively about to pop pregnant, just a little bit pregnant. I thought I would have my lap in June and that would make me more fertile and then by now I would just be peeing on a stick and getting a BFP. I was sadly deluded. I was way too optimistic and not realistic. Instead I have another lap to get through and recover from, I have another few months untill my body will start cycling, another few months untill I can start TTC again. Instead, I am grumpy, depressed, having hot flushes and am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
I cant wait untill the new year. I used to have a flashing icon of 2 lines in 2009 which was swiftly removed after my lap in June. I am now looking to start TTC in the new year and getting my BFP in 2010. DH and I are having serious talks about IVF and wanting to get put on the NHS waiting list so we can start an IVF cycle. I think that there is no point going through a year of try to conceive naturally if my surgeon thinks it wont happen. What is the point of trying for another year if it wont happen. I am an impatient person. I have been wanting a baby for over four years now. (I know some of you guys out there have been waiting longer, I hope it happens soon!)
It took me a long time to get to the point where I could cope off the pill and start TTC. To have 6 months of suppression and another lap just feels like time has stood still and I have been going backwards, this whole year has been a waste of time. I would never wish a break on anyone. Although a break is a good time to get your body and mind in shape it is still tough, boring and frustrating.
This year has been an amazing year for some of you and I am so happy whenever I see an IF get a BFP, it gives me hope that one day it will be me. I just hope that day comes soon...... bring on 2010 and my BFP!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
