Less than a week!

Less than a week until we find out whether we will be approved to adopt! I am feeling so nervous and sick! I am not sleeping well either. When I do sleep I just keep dreaming of adoption, kids etc! I think this is worse than when we were doing IVF! Everyone is so confident we will be approved, but I am so worried we will not be! Not long now!

What is panel?

Turns out no one knows what panel is!! I guess it is an England thing! Panel is what happens after we have had our home study and our PAR (prospective adopters report) is written. It is like an interview. DH, myself + SW are put in front of a panel of approx 10 people made up of medical advisor, members of adoption agent, adoptive parents, other SW's etc. they have read our PAR and ask us questions about us, anything they want clarified and ask us about how we will be as adoptive parents. They then send us out the room, have a chat about us, call us back in the room and let us know if they will recommend us to be approved as adopters. Once they say yes we can start the search for our child!

We are going to panel on 13th Feb!! Updated

Our adoption had been going slowly up until a couple of months ago. We got assigned a new social worker, which was stressful at first, but she has turned out to be brilliant!! She has got everything done quickly, been lovely and we have got on with her really well. She came round two days ago with our completed PAR which is brilliant! We signed it and are ready and waiting for panel!! Panel is 13th Feb which feels so long away right now! I am sure it will come round quickly, but time feels like it is dragging! We are both so nervous about panel. Not sure what to expect or what they are going to ask us! Such a fear that they will reject us! There is no reason for them to reject us, but it is such a life changing decision they are making! **update: panel is an interview in front of 10 people that we have to do to get recommended to be approved as adopters

So much has happened, but still no closer

I have not been on here for so long. The adoption process has been hard, frustrating, tedious and we have not progressed! I thought we were getting somewhere and moving forward, but then my SW decided to leave all of a sudden! We have been assigned a new SW and have had to start the process all over again (other than the prep course!). We were so annoyed when we found out! Our new SW is lovely, and it's not her fault we have to start again, but it is frustrating when we cover old ground! Our panel has now been moved to February 2014 and I really hope it does not move again! I wish I could write like I used to in this log, but I have lost my mojo! The only other update is that I had the mirena coil fitted yesterday. It was fairly painful, but I managed fine. I did however have terrible cramps all yesterday, but feeling better today. It feels strange to have the coil fitted when I have IF and people keep presuming It is for contraceptive reasons. Obviously not! It is to try to control my endometriosis as it has been so bad recently. My other options is another lap, or there was talk of a hysterectomy! I'm 29, I would prefer to be at least in my 30's before that happens! Scrap that, I would like to have a family first, all be it an adopted one!

Homestudy going well

We have had 3 homestudy sessions so far. It has been going well, our SW is starting to become more friendly and we are getting on well which is great! She told us today that we are booked to go to panel in January 2014! I am pleased we are booked onto panel. I was hoping it to be in December, but we will not make the deadlines. I would rather wait another month and make sure we are ready for panel, than rush it and not get approved. Our SW also wants us to start getting the room ready for the child. It is exciting, but I feel a bit premature! We are just painting, new carpet and we have got a decent 2nd hand cot bed which we will not put up yet! So far, all is going well!

June = Prep course!!

I have been MIA for the last few months. I have needed time out and I have had nothing to write about! June has finally arrived and we have just done our 3 day prep course! It was extremely interesting, but extremely exhausting! Learnt a lot about brain development, types of abuse, behaviours and about contact. In UK most adoptions are opened adoptions which means there will be some form of contact. I learnt how this can be beneficial to the child we adopt. We have all been given our SWs, which for us is Fiona, who we have already been dealing with. Home study is our next thing to do, and hopefully that will start in the next couple of weeks. We should go to panel all being well in December or January. Thankfully my DH has completely accepted adoption, he has had to do a lot of coming to terms with not having a biological child. I think it is harder for him as he could have a child if he wanted to (with someone else!), whereas I am infertile and it will never happen. That is extremely hard to deal with, but maybe easier as is very black and white for me. Adoption is my only option. I am a lot happier, positive and upbeat person compared to how I was a few months ago. The break has done me good, which I never thought it would. Now I am ready and eager to move on with the adoption process which has finally started!!

At a snails pace

That is how quickly our adoption process is going! We met with our SW and her supervisor on Wednesday. It went well other than seeming pointless! My MS was hardly discussed, to be honest I am not sure what was really discussed in the 2 hours they were over. The good news is that we are allowed on the June prep course! I am very happy that we can continue on to prep course. My job should also be improving as of June with no night duties! Roll on June! Are we really still in March?!?!