Every night for the last 3 nights I have dreamt that I am pregnant. The dreams have been great, I have had a bump, I have felt my baby moving and growing inside me. I then wake up and realise it is not true, only a dream. I am devastated. The dreams felt so real, I felt my baby but there is no baby, never was a baby.
My injection side effects are in full swing, my poor DH! One minute I am happy and energetic and cant sit down, the next minute I am in a deep depression. Right now I am feeling pretty down. I keep telling myself that I only have one more injection, and then my 3rd operation and then I cant start TTC again.
I miss TTC. That sounds silly I know, as it is so bloody stressful and upsetting, but at least there is that hope, that small chance that maybe, just maybe I could be pregnant. You can entertain the idea for a while, read into any small gut twinges (even if it is just the curry you had last night!),pretend that the pain is implantation pain, and that your sore breasts are because you are pregnant, not just the first warning sign of AF. 6 months of being on a break is a bloody long time and is bloody boring. I want my chance of having a baby.
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Oh, I love and hate those dreams at the same time. I'm so happy while I'm dreaming, but so sad once I wake up.
ReplyDeleteIt is almost time girl!! Just one more shot my dear...one more to go. I actually had a dream last night I was pregnant too. Weird huh? It is so very very real isn't it? Ugh. It is thrilling, but heartbreaking at the same time, huh?
ReplyDelete{{HUGS}}
I've also had a dream before where I was pregnant. I can totally understand how you feel. Dreams are often just your brain trying to process unresolved issues or emotions. Let's hope in your case it's a premonition of your near future!
ReplyDeleteI'm sad to hear that you're going through such horrible mood swings, and you're feeling so down right. Hang in there-the jabs are almost over and you'll be having a lap soon. Before you know it you'll be TTC again. Imagine all the things you want to happen, happening to you - your recovery, your discovery of a BFP, having a pregnant bump... It's good positive reinforcement that will attract positive energy. I have a roll of fat on my belly and sometimes I pretend I am pregnant. No kidding! I will look at my profile sideways, and hold my tummy like I was pregnant! I've already worked out what tight dresses I would wear to show off the bump when i get pregnant! It sounds pathetic -IF gals sometimes do silly things, but hey- it's good to dream right? I'm sending love, hugs and feel-good vibes to you.......
Oh sweetie, I could've wrote this post myself. I'm so tired of just "waiting". I want to be doing something...something to give me hope.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. (((HUGS)))
TAB cycles are so hard. I had 4 surgeries and I TOTALLY know where you are coming from. All I can say is time will finally move and you will get back on that ttc train again.
ReplyDeleteThat is a long break! Hang in there...I had those dreams too...they were all too real.
ReplyDelete