I am on CD16. DH is away for the next few days, so its a good job we are having a cycle off. I now have another 2ww, but this time it is for AF to show up. Once she has shown up I can book my baseline scan and get going with this FET!
What is it with IF and bloody 2ww's! The time goes so slow. I think infertility is such a frustrating thing to have. It is all about waiting, hoping, and a bit more waiting.
I hate to think what we will do is this FET does not work. We are already looking at having a June baby if this FET works. I never thought that we would be waiting till June 2011 at the very least for a baby. I was sure I would be having a baby in 2009. It is funny how delusional you can be at the start of the TTC journey. You know you have endometriosis, hypothyroidism and fertility issues but you still think all will be fine. My mum had me, my nan had my mum, surely I can have a baby like them. I realise I still can (possibly, maybe, hopefully), but I am getting impatient. I want a baby and I want one now!!!
Showing posts with label trying for a baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trying for a baby. Show all posts
Friday, 27 August 2010
Monday, 28 September 2009
Dreaming of a baby
Every night for the last 3 nights I have dreamt that I am pregnant. The dreams have been great, I have had a bump, I have felt my baby moving and growing inside me. I then wake up and realise it is not true, only a dream. I am devastated. The dreams felt so real, I felt my baby but there is no baby, never was a baby.
My injection side effects are in full swing, my poor DH! One minute I am happy and energetic and cant sit down, the next minute I am in a deep depression. Right now I am feeling pretty down. I keep telling myself that I only have one more injection, and then my 3rd operation and then I cant start TTC again.
I miss TTC. That sounds silly I know, as it is so bloody stressful and upsetting, but at least there is that hope, that small chance that maybe, just maybe I could be pregnant. You can entertain the idea for a while, read into any small gut twinges (even if it is just the curry you had last night!),pretend that the pain is implantation pain, and that your sore breasts are because you are pregnant, not just the first warning sign of AF. 6 months of being on a break is a bloody long time and is bloody boring. I want my chance of having a baby.
My injection side effects are in full swing, my poor DH! One minute I am happy and energetic and cant sit down, the next minute I am in a deep depression. Right now I am feeling pretty down. I keep telling myself that I only have one more injection, and then my 3rd operation and then I cant start TTC again.
I miss TTC. That sounds silly I know, as it is so bloody stressful and upsetting, but at least there is that hope, that small chance that maybe, just maybe I could be pregnant. You can entertain the idea for a while, read into any small gut twinges (even if it is just the curry you had last night!),pretend that the pain is implantation pain, and that your sore breasts are because you are pregnant, not just the first warning sign of AF. 6 months of being on a break is a bloody long time and is bloody boring. I want my chance of having a baby.
Saturday, 13 December 2008
The beginning
I have Endometriosis and I am 24 years old. My doctor has told me I should start trying for a baby and that is what I am doing. I have been with my Husband for 8 years, we have been married for 7 months and I feel we are definitely ready.
My periods have always been extremely heavy and painful and I am usually quiet unwell, but the pill has managed to control some of the signs and I had a laser laparoscopy 4 years ago. Coming off the pill was hard, my first period was terrible, I was in bed for 2 days, I could hardly move, felt sick and was in so much pain. I told my husband I couldn't cope with this every month and we needed to start trying a.s.a.p. He told me not to be so obsessive and to be relaxed about it all. I understand the more you stress the less likely it is to happen, but I can not cope with the pain.
This month we have had sex 3times so far, but he has seen very reluctant and nervous about the possibility of me becoming pregnant. We had sex 2 days prior to me ovulating and I was hoping the timing was correct and that I could be pregnant. that was just over a week ago and I feel no different, I don't feel pregnant. I know it takes time, but I cant stand the wait so i took a pregnancy test yesterday morning. It was negative which didn't surprise me, I knew it would be but I just needed it to confirm it. I know its early and I have to wait until I have missed my period but that is another 7 days away which seems like a life time.
The problem is, I am obsessing, having a baby is all I think about and dream about. I want a baby so badly and I know because I want it so badly it wont happen, and that's what I am scared about. If it doesn't happen I will need another operation and I don't know if I can cope with that again.
I have bought a fertility monitor for next month but my husband doesn't know as he would tell me off. I am going to do it properly and get the timing right. Also I am not going to let him be so relaxed and hopefully have sex more. Surely a man should have a higher sex drive than this and more sex is what every man dreams of?!
He as the theory that if it happens it happens but I want it right NOW!
My periods have always been extremely heavy and painful and I am usually quiet unwell, but the pill has managed to control some of the signs and I had a laser laparoscopy 4 years ago. Coming off the pill was hard, my first period was terrible, I was in bed for 2 days, I could hardly move, felt sick and was in so much pain. I told my husband I couldn't cope with this every month and we needed to start trying a.s.a.p. He told me not to be so obsessive and to be relaxed about it all. I understand the more you stress the less likely it is to happen, but I can not cope with the pain.
This month we have had sex 3times so far, but he has seen very reluctant and nervous about the possibility of me becoming pregnant. We had sex 2 days prior to me ovulating and I was hoping the timing was correct and that I could be pregnant. that was just over a week ago and I feel no different, I don't feel pregnant. I know it takes time, but I cant stand the wait so i took a pregnancy test yesterday morning. It was negative which didn't surprise me, I knew it would be but I just needed it to confirm it. I know its early and I have to wait until I have missed my period but that is another 7 days away which seems like a life time.
The problem is, I am obsessing, having a baby is all I think about and dream about. I want a baby so badly and I know because I want it so badly it wont happen, and that's what I am scared about. If it doesn't happen I will need another operation and I don't know if I can cope with that again.
I have bought a fertility monitor for next month but my husband doesn't know as he would tell me off. I am going to do it properly and get the timing right. Also I am not going to let him be so relaxed and hopefully have sex more. Surely a man should have a higher sex drive than this and more sex is what every man dreams of?!
He as the theory that if it happens it happens but I want it right NOW!
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