Now that I am nearing the end of my injections. (OMG, how exciting, I am nearly there!! Only one more!!) Sorry, I digress! I am starting to panic about my next laparoscopy. I see the surgeon next week and he will chat to me and book me in for my next op. I am scared about the op and the pain and other usual op stuff. I am also scared of what else they may find during the op.
I have been thinking about not going down the surgery route and just going straight back to TTC and putting my name straight on the IVF list. Crazy I know, as why did I bother putting myself through these 6 months of suppression only to go back to TTC without getting my endometriosis removed and sorted etc. I know this route doesnt work, it didnt last time and it wont this time. I know these thoughts are not rational and I am only thinking these things as my patience is wearing out. I am wanting a baby more than ever and having this operation only seems to delay me getting what I want. I have had these old thoughts before and managed to push them out of my mind and tell myself not to be so stupid. My body and my endometriosis needs to be sorted first before I can have a baby. I am doing this to maximise my chances of concieving and carrying a baby.
I obviously will not go down this stupid route, I will have my operation, I will try to have a bit of patience, I get my body perfect and I will then have a baby.
It just seems such a long wait.....
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No matter how good the reason, it's always so hard to wait. Congratulations on making it this far! And big congratulations on your weight loss, too... Great job! Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad for feeling that way.. Everything that your going through is VERY FRUSTRATING.
ReplyDeleteYour handling it all.. the best that you can. Hang in there..
Thinking of you,
Hannah
Nic, not going down the surgery route is actually a good idea, but you have to find a way to resolve your endo first before TTC. I asked my TCM doc regarding having a lap for my endo but he advised against it. He told me that surgery does not treat the root cause of endo, and healing from the surgery takes away a lot of the energy and qi that should be directed towards priming your uterine conditions for pregnancy. So I put my faith in his methods, and I am thrilled to say that his TCM methods are really working for my endo.
ReplyDeleteCoincidentally I just wrote a post today about how TCM heals endo. Pls check it out.If you've been following my blog my past cycle, you would've been able to read about the significant improvements I've experienced. I feel like I want to shout this out from the top of the mountain and let every endo girl know there is a solution for endo. I know how badly endo destroys a woman's life and if I can free myself from this disease I want every endo sister out there to have this freedom too.
I urge you to find a really good TCM doctor (not all of them are good) and use herbs and acupuncture intensely to try and heal your endo first. TCM is very holistic, treating the body as a cmplete sytem, That means all other problems are also usually resolved at the same time. Once your body is back to how nature intended, you should be able to conceive naturally. Or at least have much better chances with IVF.
Even though I am on a different path of healing from you, I understand your struggle. I really hope things work out for you no matter what you decide. if you want to know more about TCM, please feel free to email me! Stay strong!