I think she is pregnant

My friend at work who was TTC for 2 years, got pregnant and had a miscarriage at 11 weeks is pregnant again I think. She hasn't announced it yet as I don't think she is far gone. I am sure she is pregnant as she is avoiding drinking tea, keeping away from cat poo at work and running away from the x-ray machine when we take x-rays.

I am fricking excited for her if it is correct! She has been through so much heartache which a lot of you guys have been through as well. I wanna hug her and scream and laugh and cry all at the same time when she announces it if I am correct.

I will be a little jealous, I will cry a few tears for myself, but for some reason a PG announcement from a fellow IFer is a little easier. It does mean though that if my IVF works we will be having babies a few months apart!!

I have no news to report as far as I go, I am on the pill, I have 23 more days until I get to start my injections. I am so ready for this IVF!

Crap all going on!

I have started the count down to my laparoscopy. I am feeling nervous, I keep having stress headaches and am really not looking forward to it.

Other than that, nothing is going on.

My SIL is due any day and I am so excited to become an auntie!

Facebook is bad. Keep getting more PG news and seeing US pictures from my massivley fertile friends. My opps I sneezed and now I am pregnant friends.

Me, bitter, jealous, green with envy.... never!! Lol!

Back from hols

Had a great week away with DH and the dogs. Was quite relaxing, but sadly the week went too quickly. The weather was not great but we still enjoyed walking the dogs along the beach and going shopping and relaxing with a bottle of wine and a movie. We also had a fair amount of sexercise so all was good!

I have got back to see some great PG news from Hannah at my infertility journey which I am so excited about and happy for her! Go visit and congratulate her! She deserves this (as do all of us) as she has been so strong through her loss of her father and TTC for a few years and a couple of cancelled IVF cycles. Wish her all the best for these next 9 months!!

Its funny how I can be so genuinely ecstatic about a fellow IFer who has PG news, but at the same time massively jealous and cut up about a friend who IRL gets pregnant. I now have 2 good friends IRL who are PG by 'accident' and I am so down in the dumps about it. Massively jealous and on the verge of tears when ever I think of them. However you guys, I may have a small pang of wishing it was me as well but that's it. I really am so pleased for you Hannah!

I have tried my best to catch up on blogs and have skim read as best as I can. Please leave me a message if I have missed some news. Missed you guys!! Lol!

5th injection already!

Had my 5th injection today, cant believe how fast these last 4 weeks have gone! Only one more to go! This one bloody hurt, nurse had never given it before and she was very hesitant!

I found out today one of my friends who I went to uni with is 12 weeks pregnant. Finding out on facebook is not the best way. I have to say, I had a little cry and the horrible green eyed monster appeared! I am a jealous cow! I am very happy for them, very excited for them but I wish it was me as well. I know you guys all understand that feeling. It just sucks to have soooo many pregnant people around and you are not one of them and there is no chance you will be one of them any time soon.

I am dreading this weekend as on duty and will have the worst of my emotional side effects, feel sorry for DH as he will have to ride the emotional roller coaster with me!

Bumps everywhere

Is it me or is nearly everyone pregnant at the moment?!?! (If you are reading and pregnant, sorry, I am happy for you, I just want it to be me as well!!). I have had 4 pregnancy announcements this week. They have been so hard to swallow. I smile and act pleased and surprised but inside I am crying and jealous! I hate the jealousy, I am not a good person when I am jealous, I just cant help it. Before, when I was TTC there was hope that this could be the month and I could join the bump brigade, or there was always next month. Hope kept me going. The fact that I am on a break and I know there is no chance, no hope makes it even harder.

I was having a conversation with a friend who knows my TTC worries (the only friend who knows) and we were chatting about why we want a baby. It is so hard to put into words why it is that I want a baby. I want a little person growing inside me, I want a little me and DH, I want something to love with all my heart, I want to fill the gaping hole which I feel in my heart, I want a baby.....

PG news, I will be an auntie!

My brother has just announced that my SIL is pregnant! What was the first thing I did? Burst into tears, not tears of joy but jealousy. I am such a bitch! They weren't trying, they are 20 and still have 2 years of college left. I know a baby is a blessing at any time and I would never regret a pleasant surprise like this but I cant help the jealousy. I have been trying and got a BFN and they weren't and have a BFP! Life is just not fair! Thankfully I am home alone in floods of tears, my DH would just not understand why I am so upset.

Jealous bitch being put to one side.....OK.. I am very pleased for them. All my SIL wants is to be a stay at home mum and have lots of children so it is great for her. My brother is also desperate to have a family so they are lucky and are very happy.

The sad thing is that they live in the USA and I love in the UK so I will hardly get to see my niece or nephew and will miss it growing up. I wasn't planning to go back to the USA until they had a baby but didn't think it would be for a few years.

I am still in tears and so jealous!