.... but nothing has been happening. Nothing to write about.
I am struggling through work, it is still shit, I still hate it and want to leave. I am having more pressure and work put on me all the time and I am worried that I am not coping now, what will I be like in January when I go through my IVF again? I want everything to be right, I want to be stress free, (ha ha like that will ever happen!) I want this to work.
I did do something that was brave for me yesterday and that was baby shop. I am going to a baby shower on christmas eve and I had to get a few bits. The baby shower will be hard, but it is for my co-worker who had a miscarriage at the beginning of the year and is pregnant again. She knows a little of my IVF and had a rough journey herself so I am just about dealing with her pregancy. I managed to get all I needed in the baby shops without crying, sweating or running out empty handed. I think what helped is that I cried before I went shopping. Sounds silly but I got it out of my system! I cried as I am dreading Christmas. Yet another holiday not pregnant, without a baby or a family. Why is it the holidays are always the hardest?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I am impressed that you can baby shop and crying always helps me! I was hoping you could do me a favour and give me some input on my blog because I am having a little dilema. Thanks and I hope that Christmas is quick and painless. Hubby and I are running away to California to avoid all of the uncomfortable situations.
ReplyDeleteKC
The holidays are hard! This Thanksgving was different from any before it, mostly because my brother and one of my cousins have babies this year, and we've been trying for over a year with nothing to show for it. Sigh. Hard to know where we fit in. Anyway...congrats on successful baby shopping. I'm glad you feel able to support your friend during her hard-won pregnancy; I bet it means a lot to her, knowing what you're going through.
ReplyDeleteTake care,
lady pumpkin
ICLW #16
A baby shower on Christmas Eve? That is just horrible. Like a double whammy.
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you on thinking that this time of year is rough.
I have also been to lotsa baby showers now. It is tough. Sending you lots of love and blessings.
ReplyDeleteHeather
((((HUGS)))) Wow...that's tough. :( Holidays are the hardest sweetie. I'll be thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThe Holidays are so difficult, I've been dreading this Christmas so much as well...as you said, another Christmas without a baby, just depressing. You're very brave to go baby shopping, I don't think I'm strong enough yet after losing our daughter earlier this year, it's just too painful.
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW & hope you have a fabulous trip to NYC next week!!!
I am so sorry your work is crappy. That is the worst. I hope something makes it better soon. Awesome job on the baby shopping.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I so dont baby shop! :( They all get gift cards!!! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteHi there, I'm excited we will be cycling together as well! Hoping we will share pregnancy together too! That would be Amazing:D And our babies would be born close together in october;) (note: the positive thinking)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the baby shower. I only went to 1 myself, and only because I really like this person. I did well, but the hard part was I knew most of the people there and everyone wanted to know when we were gonna have one...... and so on. It just wouldn't end it seemed:( My sister was there and after it was over provided a quick get away.(she seen how badly I was hurting, and of course we are protective of one another) Hope it goes ok for you though.
Also sorry about your work, and all the added stress I really hope it somehow gets better.
Hugs,
Hannah