Wow, this is my 400th post! This is also day 1 of our 4th cycle, our second FET.
I had plans, plans to get pregnant, plans to be writting happy things by now, about morning sickness, getting fat etc. Instead I am writting about how my period has just come, how I start the pill and begin our last FET on the NHS. This was not part of the plan, this was not how it was supposed to happen.
I feel I am being left behind, friends are getting pregnant, having babies, getting pregnant with number two and here I am with nothing. What do I have to show for these last 3 cycles? I have extra weight, I have hair loss, very bad flaky scalp and I have a little piece of my heart missing.
Plans can change right?!? Here I am now on plan E, or was it F? I lose track! Plan is to do this FET, put two back in and become pregnant and have a family.
It is the hope and the burning desire to be pregant that keeps me going on, keeps me trying. I just hope that I can keep trying longing enough to get my dream.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Thinking of you, Nic! Hope this is IT for you!!!
ReplyDeletePrayers of hope and success going out to you :)
ReplyDeleteI know the left behind feeling. All my friends are wrapping up while we are starting. Good luck on this FET! I'll be watching and rooting for you.
ReplyDeleteplan A never does seem to work, but at least you're in good company. ;) i've been passed by three of my younger siblings and my younger cousin who is about to have her 4th. i'm crossing my fingers and praying that this will be it for you! you'll have some happy to things to blog about soon. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your plan E...or F! I'm so hoping for you!!! Keep hoping, keep that desire. You WILL be a mommy. You WILL.
ReplyDelete