1 week late

I have been waiting for AF to show for the last week but she is no where to be seen! DH says I have PMT, me I'm just pissed off at the world! Now some people may say that being late is good, I could be pregnant. I very much doubt. I have crap Fallopian tubes and I need to have sex to be PG (well twice was all we had last month!) I have not peed on a stick, I won't waste my money. Everytime the thought pops into my head that I could be, I push it out straight away. No point depressing myself more when the old witch shows! One thing that this does show, is that my body and my cycles are screwed up from all of my drugs. Inam trying to work out when to cycle for my next FET. I am thinking August so my body can normalise a little. It seems so far away though!

4dp5dt (FET #2)

I have remained relatively (?!) sane the past 4 days but I have still been thinking 'what if...' a lot. What if It does work? What if it doesn't work?

I haven't been obsessing with symptoms as is way too early, but just to note I have had sore boobs and a few cramps. Both of which could be due to my progesterone suppositories.

I am loving the fact that I am PUPO, I talk to my embryo's, rub my belly and imagine them implanting. This is not because I am crazy (much!), but because I have been told positive thinking and visualisation helps! I figure, I will try anything to get me a baby!!

PUPO!!

I am PUPO!! I had my transfer at 12pm and had two embryos transferred. One blastocyst was looking good, cells already differentiating! The other one is borderline, only 50% of cells alive, but still aparently viable. I am very pleased. Now just the dreaded 2ww! OTD is 17th Oct.

I am laying on the sofa, keeping my legs (and fingers and toes!) crossed!

Thank you to all for my well wishes, means a lot.

It is an endometrioma!

I had another scan this morning and the 'fluid filled tube' is actually an endometrioma! I am very pleased, although I already knew it was as it has been diagnosed before!

My transfer is set for 12pm tomorrow and I am hoping my blastocysts survive the thaw. Cant wait to be PUPO again!

Progesterone kicking in?

I am starting to get sore b00bs and quite a bit of wind which I can only put down to the progesterone suppositories. At least it shows they are working I gues!!

I have another scan tomorrow morning to check my lining again and to see if the cyst/endometrioma/fluid filled Fallopian tube is still there and see whether this cycle can go ahead or not. I have decided that if they try to cancel me I will demand to see one of the doctors and get them to scan me rather than leave it up to a nurse to decide. I just hope all us well, but I doubt it will be!

Started progesterone

I have finished my injections and I started on my progesterone suppositories last night. This means I am a little closer to my transfer, but everything still hangs on my scan on Wednesday morning.

I am still not feeling very hopeful that this will actually go ahead and to top things off, I have a stinking cold and am working on duty all this weekend, whilst feeling rubbish. I really want to be relaxing so that I can get my body in good shaped for the transfer and 2ww

Why can't things not go smoothly?

I had my scan on Wednesday morning and it did not go well. My uterine lining is at 0.8cm which is OK, but my 'cyst' on my left ovary may not be a cyst, but be a fluid filled fallopian tube! I am frustrated as I have been told many times it is a cyst, it has been drained during egg collection and all has been fine, but now they are trying to make it something else!

I am not sure if this cycle will get to transfer. I need to continue with drugs, start progesterone on Saturday and then go in for another scan Wednesday morning to see if I can have my transfer on Thursday or not! I am so bloody frustrated as I just want to do this cycle, transfer and then wait and see what happens. It seems to be one thing after another with me

So tired!

I have been on my FET drugs for near enough a week now. My guts did get a bit better, but this morning they were no great again. I am also feeling extremely tired at the moment. I could sleep all day (but I don't!), but at night I do not seem to be able to sleep well. I think I remember feeling like this last FET and it will definetly be worth it if I get my BFP!

I am starting to get to this hopeful, it may work stage. I know it is good to to be hopeful, but at the same time, I feel I need to be careful that I do not get carried away. There is a big chance that this will not work again, but there is a small chance it will!

My next scan is Wednesday morning and so I will see how thick my lining is getting!

Side effects already?! (TMI!)

I'm on CD4, third day of treatment for this FET #2 and already I am having side effects. The oestrogen tablets (Progynova) are giving me bad diarrhoea. Sorry, I know its TMI, but I'm struggling already! It's mainly in the mornings, but it's hard getting to work and driving around all day for my job.

This happened last cycle and no one seemed to have come across it before. Has anyone had this side effect? Any tips on how to stop it, as I am worried because IF (haha!) I get pregnant, I need to carry on with these drugs till 12weeks

ICLW comes around quick!!

Happy ICLW! Thanks all for stopping by. A lot of you know my story but here is a brief bit about me and the journey I am still on to get my much wanted baby!

- I am a Veterinary Surgeon
- I have two rescue fur babies (dogs!)
- I have grade IV endometriosis, Hyposthyroidism and suspected MS
- I have been TTC for 3 years
- I have had 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET
- I am started my FET #2 20/9/2011 and have two frozen day 5 Blastocysts in the freezer waiting to be transfered!

I am trying to remain positive and hopeful that this is our time, that we can have our very own family soon!

Baseline for FET #2

All went well, my lining was 0.42cm and ovaries looked fine. I started my progynova tablets at lunch time and will start my suprecur injections this evening! So pleased that I have been given the go ahead to cycle!!

I am wondering what side effects I will get this time as last time I had very bad upset guts last time when on progynova tablets, I hope it is not the case this time!

I'm back, relaxed(?!) and ready to go!!

My holiday was amazing! I definitely ate too much and drank too much but I have a nice tan and am the most relaxed I have been for quite a while.
I stopped my BCP on thursday, expecting AF Monday and have my baseline booked in for 8.30am Tuesday for my FET #2!!
I have not cycled for 8 months and that is too long! I'm excited to be trying again, but scared and nervous.

I have not been blogging much recently, but I shall be a bit more now I'm back on the rollercoaster!!

Off to Spain!

I'm away for a week in Spain as of tomorrow morning! A much needed break!
When I'm back, will b the start of FET #2!

Hating the facebook game

Have you all noticed how it appears everyone is pregnant with their facebook status updates at the moment?!? I have come to realise that it is not the case, but another breast cancer awareness game, although I do not actually understand how it raises breast cancer awareness?!? I have to admit that my jealousy has been bad recently (actually when hasn't it been!?) and I think the facebook game is a cruel game to play on us IFers!

Work has been bad recently and I am in desperate need for a break! Only 2 more nights and 5 more days of work until I go away on holiday! We are off for a week break to Majorca and I cannot wait! Both DH and I are running on empty an dthis is just what we need! Things have been so hard for such a long time, I am amazed that we seem like we are still semi sane! I cant wait to get away and also I cant wait to get back. When I get back I shall be starting my FET #2! I really cant wait. For some reason I am feeling hopeful at the moment. I am not too sure why, but I guess it has to work at some point..... right....?

Any chance you could be pregnant?

I hate it when you are about to have an x-ray at the dentist and then and the pregnant question comes up. For most I am sure it is just another question with hardly any meaning, for us IF's it is a stab in the heart. 'No' I respond in a light and breezy way, trying to show that the question did not hurt me, why would it hurt me.....?!?

So its been a week on the pill and all is well. I am actually feeling a bit better on the pill as the last couple of months I have been off the pill but bleeding on and off every few days throughout the cycles. No bleeding so far though.

Couple more weeks and the off to Spain and then on the crazy train! Time seems to be going slow at the moment, doesn't it always when you have thinks you are looking forward to!!

I have started the pill!

Rarely have I ever been so excited to start the pill! What this means is that I am starting the process for my FET #2. I am on the pill for a month, then a bleed, then my baseline on 20th September! I am so pleased that soon I will be back on the crazy train! Is it mad that I prefer to be on drugs and cycling that doing nothing! I guess it is the hope that I miss!

Not long now!

AF here already?!

Where has this month gone? I have been a bad blogger as not had much going on. What I can say is that this months has gone quite quickly! I seem to have my period already. Now of course I wish that I was PG instead, but I know that is not going to happen naturally. What it does mean is that I am even closer to me FET! Once AF is over I have to start on the pill, go away on holiday to spain in a few weeks, come back and then have my baseline!

Not long now!

I am still here!!

I have been MIA, mainly because work has been so busy and I have had some deadlines. I have also been dieting and running and trying to get my body in better shape.

I can now say that next month I will be doing a FET!! I cant wait to get back on the crazy train again! Until then I shall try to remain patient and keep fit!

new diet and fitness regime!

Well since getting my MS diagnosis and the go ahead for my FET in September I am determined to get back into shape. I have put on about 7lbs during this year of IVF and I am determined to lose it before next go. I started running yesterday and have been eating healthy for the last couple of weeks. I am certainly struggling with exercising and making myself want to exercise, but I will keep going with it.

I will get my body and my mind back on track. I am determined that for once something good has to happen in my life. I am hoping that something is a fit body and a baby!
I guess I should keep dreaming, but dreams is what keeps is going right?!?

September is soooo far away but.....

...... we have been booked in for our FET!! I am really excited that we finally have a goal and not in limbo so much anymore!!

My neurologist gave me the MS bombshell, but I am trying to remain upbeat and look forward to something positive (hopefully a pregnancy test!!) My baseline is booked for 20th September with a view to doing transfer on 6th October.

Please let this work, I am due some good news!

Oh yeah and AF the horrible witch played me up this month and gave me false hope, my period was 5 days late! I really thought that maybe, just maybe I was having good luck and a small miracle once in my life!