Happy ICLW!

Hi all from ICLW, thanks for stopping by. Sorry it is a little late but here is a few things about me and my infertility journey:

- I am 26, been with my husband for 10 years, married for 2 1/2 years,
- I have an under active thyroid and grade IV endometriosis
- I have had 3 laparoscopies to try to get rid of my endo, was not effective
- I had 6 months of zoladex injections to put me in a state of menopause to treat my endo, not effective
- We have been trying for a baby for over 2 years but have blocked tubes
- I had one failed cycle of IVF in June/July
- I had one failed frozen embryo cycle in September
- We are about to start our second round of fresh IVF in December/January 2011
- I have started acupuncture for this IVF cycle (I hope it helps!)

We are desperately trying to have a baby. We want a family more than anything.

I am going to New York!!!!

DH is taking me to New York for our 10 year anniverary!! I am so excited! We fly out Sunday 5th Dec and fly back to the UK Thurs 9th Dec! It will be a short, busy sight seeing holiday but I can not wait!! Things have been so shit recently with our failed IVF and FET and shit time at work that we have decided f*&k it, lets do something we have always wanted to do!! Good old credit card!

Infertility has put our life on hold for over two years now, we have put off holidays, not spent money 'just in case' we fall pregnant. It seems like such a waste the last couple of years. It will be nice to have a break just before we start our new IVF cycle. December 27th will be here before I know it and I will be back on the IVF roller coaste again!!

Did I mention I am so so excited to be going to New York!!!

Any of you live there or been there? Any one recomend good places to go?

I actually slept for once!!

Last night was the first night I feel that I slept and slept well. Since I did my FET in September I have not slept properly. I thought it was the drugs but then thought it was stress and then I was not sure why. Every night I would fall asleep straight away but then wake constantly throughout the night and feel tired in the morning.

Last night I had a good sleep, woke up in a better mood and felt slightly happier this morning! I do not know if it was the acupuncture, the sex DH and I had (sorry TMI!!) or if it was just the fact that I was relaxed after my acupuncture. What ever it was I shall continue to have my acupuncture and hope that it is doing good!

first acupuncture session

I decided to give acupuncture a go. I felt very much out of my comfort zone as I do not normally try alternative treatments, but I am trying to be open minded.

The lady is lovely. She took my medical history, then got me to lay on the bed and she stuck needles into me. She only put four in though! One in my ankle, one in wrist, one in forehead and one top of belly. I thought there would be more. I then laid there for a while. I didnt feel much other than a little tingling. I was however very relaxed so that must be a good thing!

I am going back another two times before my IVF starts. I am willing to try whatever it takes to get me my baby. I really hope it helps. I am trying to get my body in shape and my mind in shape.

I am still miserable but somehow today has given me the kick up the arse to get myself sorted. To try to look forward, not back and to be positive.

How do you feel about acupuncture?

I am going for a consult and acupuncture tomorrow morning. I am very sceptical, I am not sure if it works, if it will help, but there is nothing to lose! This lady works with people with IF and going through IVF.

Have any of you had acupuncture? Did it help? Do you think it is worth it as it is not cheap!!

I am hanging on by a thread at the moment. Work is bad again, one women is being a bitch and spiteful to me. I am not wanting to be at work, I am not wanting to do anything. I am not sleeping properly still. I am miserable.......

Met a fellow IFer

I am part of my fertility clinic's forum and it is great support network just like this blogging world. Well today I bit the bullet and met with a girl from the clinic. We have so much in common, we are the same age, our DH's are the same age. We had a first IVF June/July and we even had our FET on the same day!!! We also sadly are still on the IVF roller coaster. We met in a little cafe and had cake and chatted and before we knew it we had been there for 2 hours!! It was so nice to talk about how shit IF is, how much it takes out of us emotionally as well as physically and to chat to some one who understands! Blogging is great but actually meeting someone who is in the same boat is briliant. It is also good for me as I seemed to have lost a few friends through this IF journey and it is such a secret, no family etc know. To be able to meet with someone who is seperate from your other friends and family and to talk so freely is such a relief!!

I am hopefully going to keep in contact with her and meet on regular occasions.

As you may be able to tell, I am feeling a little happier. I am still stressed and feeling down but talking has seemed to have helped!!

My WTF appointment

I was on the phone to my Doc for half and hour the other day talking about my sedation, my new protocol, my side effects etc. Here is how the conversation went, sorry about bullets!!

- I am moving from Gonal F to menopur - 4 vials a day
- He will be giving me a high sedation straight away for the EC collection rather than topping me up like last time as I am one of those 'rare' cases where I do not sedate very well and I felt too much.
- I will be doing a 5 day transfer as some of mine made it to 5 days last time and then were frozen. He says will give better chance of picking the best but run the risk of nothing to freeze.
- I will have a scan on the 29th Dec before I come off the pill to see if my cyst has gone, if not it will need to be aspirated before I start IVF
- I need to have my clotting times checked as I bleed so heavily and bruise easily
- My hair should hopefully stop falling out, no suggestions there sadly
- Apparently I am a 'challenging case' as nothing goes simply with me!

I think that is it in a nut shell. I really hope my cyst has gone by Dec as I do not want my IVF delayed even more. I did have 3 bleeds last week even though on the pill, must be due to the cyst.

Strangely, I have been feeling tearful and not coping well the last few days. I have not had a proper nights sleep in weeks. I feel like I am struggling at the moment. I am not sure why I am like this. I guess I am tired, scared of my EC, scared of not ever being able to have a baby........