I have participated in the book club this time round and read Moose; a memoir of a fat camp by Stephanie Klein. I enjoyed the book a lot, especially the raw honesty about the way Klein felt and the things she put herself through to reach her goal. Below are a few questions posed by other readers:
Q) Klein states that it’s not self-love that motivates us, but self-hate. Applying this to infertility and family building, what do you believe motivates you (or motivated you) more to put one foot in front of the other and keep trying—intense love and hope for the future or intense hate and frustration with the situation?
A) I have always hated myself which is such a shame. It has been this way since I can remember, no doubt due to my bullying throughout the whole of my school life. I try so hard to be liked, sometimes a little too hard because maybe if people liked me, I would like myself. I hate my body and hate how many illness that I have, including IF. I keep going and carrying on because my DH loves me, he sees something in me that no one else sees, including myself. When I am with him I like myself, he makes me feel special. Self hate drives me to get my body in shape, to try to lose wight, to try to get a perfect body for me to have a baby. I have great hope for the future. I am hard working and have done well in my life so far despite my all my hiccups and set backs. I just hope that infertility does not win. I hope that we have a family, the hope keeps me going.
Q) On page 115, Stephanie reads that Leigh is trying a new fad to help her lose weight. She is wrapping her tongue with Saran Wrap because she heard that the tongue absorbs most of the calories. Reflecting on your own experiences with losing/maintaining weight or those close to you, what is the weirdest method/diet program that you have ever tried/heard of? What were the results? How did it impact your future attempts at losing/maintaining weight?
A) Like most people I am sure I have tried many diets and ways to lose weight. None of them really worked, most probably because I didn't stick at them very long. I would not class any of them as particularly strange. The one I remember was during school when I was about 14. I would drink as much water as I possibly could as I heard that it acts as a diuretic and it stops the hunger. The only food I allowed myself to eat were apples! I am not sure why apples but that was all that passed my lips other than water for about a week! I couldn't stick at the diet though. the hunger got to me!! Other diets include slim fast, weight watchers, no carbs and now I am with slimming world. The slimming world diet is working well, see ticker above. I have now lost a stone which is the most I have ever lost on a diet and am still sticking with it.
Q) Stephanie describes how she would picture herself slim, and how that image did not look like her at all. Did you/do you picture yourself slim and if so who do you model yourself on? Are you realistic when you image the slim you or do you picture someone you could never be like?
A) There is someone who I work with. She is perfect in every way. She is clever, good at sports, good at her job, friendly, funny, lovely and has a perfect body. She is extremely slim but still has slight curves and is in perfect proportion. I model myself on her. Not in a creepy weird way, but have the image of her in my mind as my goal. I want to be able to look great in clothes like she does. I realise that I will never look like her, we don't have the same bone structure, build or height but she is my goal. I know this seems strange but I struggle to imagine myself slim so I imagine looking like someone else instead
Hop along to another stop on this blog tour by visiting the main list at Stirrup Queens (http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/). You can also sign up for the next book on this online book club: It Sucks, And Then I Cried by Heather Armstrong (aka Dooce).
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"I try so hard to be liked, sometimes a little too hard because maybe if people liked me, I would like myself."
ReplyDeleteI remember feeling this way, too. It's a very scary place because I had given away my power to "them," which left me powerless in my own life. Ick.
You asked a great question!
It sounds like your coworker's body isn't the only thing to be envied. Sometimes it can be easy to imagine that if you had the same body, all of the other stuff would follow.
ReplyDeleteThis book's author makes an interesting point that she was thin at the times she was most unhappy in life, and that appearances can be deceptive. I wonder if your coworker is happy with herself, or if there is someone that she wishes she could trade places with.