Turns out MS is a BIG problem

We had my intial meeting with the adoption social worker this afternoon. I was very nervous and my house has nevery been cleaner or tidier! There was a lot of questions asked about why we want to adopt, our IVF, our interests, family, support, child care experience. All of those questions were fine until we came to my MS. The mood changed, became quite negative and I started to get a bad feeling. Basicly we can not move forward until I have had a medical with my GP, the agency has contacted my neurologist and then all the info is gathered on me and sent to an indepent medical advisor for review. I am gutted as this will take ages for all the paperwork to be done etc, and so we will not make it on to the February prep course. She said everything else about us is great and the house is great, it is just my MS. It is always my health that holds us back. I also hate the stigma that is around MS. No one can tell I have it, I seem fine and I am fine, just a bloody label.

new diet and fitness regime!

Well since getting my MS diagnosis and the go ahead for my FET in September I am determined to get back into shape. I have put on about 7lbs during this year of IVF and I am determined to lose it before next go. I started running yesterday and have been eating healthy for the last couple of weeks. I am certainly struggling with exercising and making myself want to exercise, but I will keep going with it.

I will get my body and my mind back on track. I am determined that for once something good has to happen in my life. I am hoping that something is a fit body and a baby!
I guess I should keep dreaming, but dreams is what keeps is going right?!?

September is soooo far away but.....

...... we have been booked in for our FET!! I am really excited that we finally have a goal and not in limbo so much anymore!!

My neurologist gave me the MS bombshell, but I am trying to remain upbeat and look forward to something positive (hopefully a pregnancy test!!) My baseline is booked for 20th September with a view to doing transfer on 6th October.

Please let this work, I am due some good news!

Oh yeah and AF the horrible witch played me up this month and gave me false hope, my period was 5 days late! I really thought that maybe, just maybe I was having good luck and a small miracle once in my life!

It is MS

So I got a call form my Neurologist on Monday. She said that she has had a meeting with other neurologists, discussed my case and they are all in agreement that my MRI looks very much like MS.

This was not a surprise to me, but I am still finding it a hard pill to swallow. I think I was a little in denial before and now, well I do not know really what it means for me. Will I lead a normal life, will MS take over my life. When will I get the symptoms again? At the moment I feel 'normal', but how long will that last?

I guess the only good news that can come of this is that I can can go ahead and try for a baby again. There are a few other tests that need to be run for further confirmation, but pregnancy apparently makes signs of MS go away. Now all I have to do is get pregnant! I will call the clinic and get my FET booked for September, my neurologist has given me the OK for September! It seems so long away, but I guess it is only 2 months! Gives me time to get myself into shape a little more.

I have booked dates for my FET (again)!

DH and I have been talking lots and we have decided to go ahead with our FET in June/July. I have been feeling better in myself, back to normal most days. If I do have MS, it does not mean I can not have a child. As long as my neurologist gives me the all clear on 31st May when I see her I shall go ahead with my FET.

I spoke to the clinic and provisionally booked in for baseline scan on 20th June which means transfer will be 1st week in July!! It is not really that far away, we are already in May!

These dates and deciding to tell people have given me new hope, something to look forward to and a reason to get healthy and lose weight. Please let this work!

A-Z

Stolen from the "And Then There Were Two" Blog

A - Age at Which you Started TTC: 24

B - Baby Dancing or Sex: Sex

C - Children Wanted: I would love two, but if all I manage to have is one I will be happy. I just want a family!

D - Dogs/Cats/Fill In Babies: two fur babies, my two dogs!

E - Essential Oils/Vitamins: I take B12, Pre-Natal Vitamin, and multi vit

F - Fertility Meds I've Taken: Menopur, Suprecure, progesterone supps, cyclogest, follitism and cant remember the rest!

G - Gain, What I have Gained from Infertility: about 7 lbs!

H - HSG: Yes, had a couple during my laparoscopy

I - Infertile Pet Peeve: People telling me I am young and still have time!

J - Job Title: Veterinary Surgeon

K - Kids Names you are Afraid will be Taken: I am so undecided on names, try not to think about names and get my hopes up!

L - Lengh of Time TTC - This September it will be 3 long years

M - Miscarriages: None thankfully

N - Number of Times you have Swiched REs: None as on NHS and a long waiting list to switch! Will think about it when I go private

O - Overian Quality: OKish I think. It is my grade IV endo and my destroyed tubes which is a problem. Not sure why I can not get pregnant after 3 transfers though...

P - POAS or Wait for AF: I have to POAS as we do not get a beta at my clinic!

Q - Quote from an Obnoxious Fertile: Oh so many... 'just relax' but the one that was hard was from MIL when she said I should make sure I have twins from my IVF so U get family done in one!

S - Sperm: Fine, no probs

T - Time you Tried Naturally - On and off for a few years, my endo means I can not cope being off the pill for too long.

U - Uterus Quality: I though it was good, now I am not so sure

V - Vagina: yes, I have one!

W - What Babu Stuff do you Already Have: I bought a pregnancy book which I will not read until I am pregnant, one baby grow I was going to give to a friend but fell in love with and a few blankets I have crocheted myself.

X - Xtra, Xtra, Hear all about it! SO far it has been pretty private. At the moment only 4 friends know, no family. When we finally get to do our FET I think we will be open

Y - Yearly Exam: Yes

Z - Zits: I have always had perfect skin until I started IF meds, now I get a few spots sometimes!

Sorry about these kind of posts at the moment. Limbo land is boring for all of us!

I am still trying to come to terms with the 'maybe MS' diagnosis and the further delay of my FET. The waiting is so frustrating.

Maybe MS??

My neurologist rang me today with the results of my MRI and its not great. I have inflammation of my spine and brain. It could be an early indication of MS, they do not know for certain yet.....

I am so upset and p*ssed off. I cant seem to get a break. Everything seems to go wrong with me.

This also means my TTC and FET has to be put on hold for longer so they can figure out if I really do have MS or not....