My dog

Here are few pictures of Maddy my rescue dog: I have had her for 18 months, she is a Staffordshire bull terrier X. She is about 6 years ish. I sadly do not know much about her history. She was dumped at a rescue center when she was about 2 years old and spent nearly 2 years there. They were going to put her to sleep soon if they couldn't find a home for her. I fell in love with her and she is a very lovely girl.

Her with Santa, her Christmas present. He is sadly no more!

This is her on the beach, one of our favourite places to take her:

Excuse the horrible rug, in a old rented house of ours, NOT our rug! lol!

We are training at dog agility at the moment and she loves it. She is very fast and can jump extremely high! We have our first show on Saturday 2nd of may. If I get an decent pictures of her competing I will put them up here.

I did it, I took the pill

I am now back on bcp until after my lap. The pain this period has been terrible. We have decided we wont be making babies until after my lap. I am trying to look to all the positives, even though I feel I have taken a giant leap backwards....

I am going to enjoy a glass of wine, some cream cheese and lots of other naughties that we should be avoiding when TTC! Also looking forward to lots of sex, no timing, no stressing, just good old fashioned sex!! Yay to the pill, I have missed you!

IComLeavWe

Welcome to IComLeavWe! Cant believe it has come around so quickly. Thought I would give you a quick run down of me and my blog. Sorry to those who already know me and having to read about me again, but welcome to new comers. It is always great to find new blogs and friends

• I am 24 years old, a veterinary surgeon, married and have a rescue dog.
• I have endometriosis and hypothyroidism
• I am TTC our first child, have been TTC for 6 months with no success but am sadly having to go back onto the pill. This is because I cant cope with the pain off the pill due to my endometriosis
• I am booked in for another laparoscopy (my second one) on the 2nd June to have all my endometriosis removed and a HSG and hysteroscopy performed

I am desperate for a child, its is all I have ever dreamed of. Although I have not been trying for a long time it seems so long since being diagnosed with endometriosis and my first lap and eventually being able to come off the pill. Sadly I have not coped being off the pill and my period has got worse with every cycle to the point where I cant stand the pain and end up vomiting I am in such extreme pain. Back on the pill I go until after my laparoscopy.

Decision made... I think...

I have been in so much pain with this period. Yesterday was ok ish until 5am this morning. I was woken up in severe pain and was moaning in my sleep, I even woke my DH which is very hard to do! I spent the next hour in the bathroom doubled over in so much pain that I could not move. I normally feel very sick with my period, due to the pain I think. This time I actually vomited a few times, I was in so much pain. It is definitely getting worse each cycle. I manged to go back to sleep for an hour and then woke up again in a lot of pain and spent another half hour in the bathroom. My DH was quite sweet and got up to check on me a few times but I told him there wasn't anything he could do. I really didn't want him hanging around me when I had the cold sweats and puking! Not a great sight!

I spoke to DH this afternoon and he agrees; I am going back on the pill until after my laparoscopy..... I think....! I am finding it hard to decide for definite because this is the last month of trying before my operation and maybe if I fell pregnant I would not have to have the operation.

I think the pain is ruining my life however and I don't want it to ruin my holiday to Rome. I can hardly walk now the pain is so bad so sight seeing would be out of the question. A break from TTC wont be all bad, it will be good mentally as well. It may bring the spark in the bedroom back. Not that sex is bad, it just seems like a chore sometimes which is a terrible thing to say, but I am sure you all know what I mean.

Spoke to my mum and SIL earlier. All talk is about my SIL being pregnant, everyone is very excited which is great and I am as well, but it got a little bit too much for me to handle a whole hour of pregnant talk. The jealousy crept in once my excitement calmed down. I am still genuinely happy for my brother and SIL.

New blog design....new cycle...

Woke up this morning to find AF had arrived. I am disappointed. I know I went away on a business trip, but because I ovulated late it meant we actually BD at the right time. I would say pretty much as I was ovulating as I had some pain on my right hand side of my belly. Now if that was perfect timing and I am not pregnant it could mean a few things: Sperm and egg did not get on with each other, sperm stood the egg up, egg stood the sperm up or I just don't know! lol!

It is making me feel like I need my laparoscopy though. I know I am ovulating but if my tubes are blocked then of course I wont be able to get pregnant. Also DH needs his SA just in case he has no sperm.

I am wondering what to do about my next cycle. I am off on holiday to Rome on the 18th May and it means that AF will be due whilst in Rome. I don't want to be on holiday with it, mostly due to the pain I will be in and I will struggle to enjoy my holiday and sight see and do lots of walking. This will be our only holiday this year as we are in the process of buying a house (yay!!!). I want this to be a special holiday. It is our 1 year anniversary and I don't want AF! Should I go back on the BCP until my lap? The doctor did suggest it as a possibility. Thing is it will take me a while to start cycling again and I would want to take advantage of my increased fertility after my lap and HSG etc. What do you all think?

The NHS is different

Thank you all for my suggestions and helpful comments. I live in the UK and am on the NHS, it works a lot different to the health system in the USA. Basically it is free but because of that the waiting times and procedure are different. My Dr says they haven't performed a HSG on its own for 15 years, A hysteroscopy can be done but he recommends as well laparoscopy because we know I have endo and my symptoms are getting worse. I feel I want to get it over and done with and not keep hanging around waiting. There is no way of me getting a second opinion unless I go back to my GP and be asked to be referred to a different specialist and then start from scratch and be put at the beginning of the waiting list again which I don't want.

I am OK about the lap. It has been 4 1/2years since my last one which is pretty good going. I know what to expect this time round so all will be fine

Not taking it well.

I was convinced I wouldn't be booked in for a laparoscopy yet. I thought he would do a HSG first. I understand I am having it all done at once but I don't want another operation if its not needed. In answer to a few of you, the endo will be excised which is good as I had it lasered when I had my first surgery. My DH also has to have his sperm tested which is good. I am pleased the Dr suggested this as we all know its not always the women's fault for not conceiving. DH seems ok about having the SA so thankfully I don't have to keep boosting his ego and convincing him he is still a real man, lol!

I have been down all afternoon. Been very quiet which really isn't me. I am normally the loud, jokey one, but instead I have retreated within myself and stayed there. I guess all of you are wondering why I am so down. Its not like this is the end of the world. It may even help me conceive. I don't even know why I am so down. I think it is the realisation that this is not going to be an easy journey.

I was looking back on my conversation with the Dr and I remembered him saying that the only other option if I don't want surgery is IVF. I remember thinking, 'hang on, that's a bit drastic!' IVF maybe an option for the future but it is just that, in the future. I am unsure why he would say this but he moved onto the next subject so quickly I did not have time to question him.