Over it

I am over my jealousy about my SIL being pregnant (well maybe still a little jealous!!) and am now getting excited!! I am hoping she has a little girl as I have a nephew and would love a niece. Actually who am I kidding, I want them to have a healthy baby! I am pleased I am now excited for them. I hated the person I was yesterday! I tried to explain to DH but as expected he didn't understand.

Sorry its a short post, am on duty.

CD12, looking for to some quick BD before I go on my business trip. Am hoping I will ovulate early this month. Knowing my luck I will ovulate smack bang in the middle of my trip. I am now think turkey baster?!!? Of course only a joke!

PG news, I will be an auntie!

My brother has just announced that my SIL is pregnant! What was the first thing I did? Burst into tears, not tears of joy but jealousy. I am such a bitch! They weren't trying, they are 20 and still have 2 years of college left. I know a baby is a blessing at any time and I would never regret a pleasant surprise like this but I cant help the jealousy. I have been trying and got a BFN and they weren't and have a BFP! Life is just not fair! Thankfully I am home alone in floods of tears, my DH would just not understand why I am so upset.

Jealous bitch being put to one side.....OK.. I am very pleased for them. All my SIL wants is to be a stay at home mum and have lots of children so it is great for her. My brother is also desperate to have a family so they are lucky and are very happy.

The sad thing is that they live in the USA and I love in the UK so I will hardly get to see my niece or nephew and will miss it growing up. I wasn't planning to go back to the USA until they had a baby but didn't think it would be for a few years.

I am still in tears and so jealous!

Bit early

I had to POAS today for my fertility monitor. I thought this was a bit early seeing that I am on day 9 of my cycle. I normally ovulate on day 16 but was day 15 last cycle. I was really hoping to only use 10 sticks this month so that I have 10 left for next month. I know this could be my cycle that I get my BFP, but I doubt it. I am away at a conference the weekend I am due to ovulate. Is a bit annoying but you never know, if we have sex just before I go and then when I come back the sperm may hang around for my egg? I am only away from Friday morn to Sunday eve.

I have my hospital appointment on the 15 April and am looking forward it as want a chat and suggest HSG etc. The only problem is that I will be due on that day so I may be happy with a BFP or pissed off with a BFN. If AF does arrive I don't think I would be able to make love to the ultrasound wand. It is bad enough trying to insert a tampon, I am doubled over in pain doing that during AF. Also when I had my ultrasound and session with the wand last time I was in so much pain I was in tears and that was mid cycle when I am not usually in pain.

I did bring up the possibility of my DH making love to a cup and he didn't seem overly impressed. I would like a SA done at some point. We all know I have endo but I think DH should get a clean bill of health so we know I am the only one with the problem fertility wise.

Thank you all

Wow, what an amazing response from you all. Thank you all for your support from the previous post, makes me feel welcome here. I really do get so much help from blogging and every one's comments.

However, I just want to clear a few things up. The blog I read inspired my previous post, not because I was necessarily hurt by it, more it was thought provoking regarding how little time I have been TTC in comparison. Actually helps to keeps things in perspective sometimes.

People are in different stages in their TTC and for some people they are going through tough times and are in bad places at the moment. I only hope that their battle is won soon. If we cant put down our feelings here, then where can we?

Quick update

AF has stopped thankfully but I still have a fair amount of pain in my belly. Really want to get down to it with DH but in far too much pain. Am worried since coming off the pill my endo has grown back rapidly.

Trying my best to be an iron commenter but is a lot of reading! Am enjoying it though. I did however come across one blog which made me think about this blog and how I am not very far along my TTC journey. I realise I have not been at it that long but I feel you should be able to start a blog about your TTC journey at any point, not just when you are about to lose hope or numerous years down the line. I in no way claim to be infertile, is too early days. I do however have endometriosis and know that this will be a bit of a struggle. Just how much of a struggle I do not know at the moment.

I get great support from so many people and I thank you. It helps. This blog helps, it is a dumping ground for all of my thoughts. If I had no readers I would still continue blogging the same, but readers are great and comments make me happy. Thank you all!

On another note, baked my first lot of banana and choc chip muffins today! (not much of a baker but learning!) They are surprisingly yummy!

AF still here

CD5 and my period is still here. Normally I am spotting at this point but I am still in quite a bit of pain which is unsual. Thankfully the pain is bearable but is very annoying.

I had a word with DH last night and asked him if he thinks we will ever have a baby. He doesn't have a doubt in his mind which I guess is nice but he has a longer way to fall if we can never conceive. At least me being a pessimist, I am disappointed rarely! Lol

I am making progress with DH regarding getting another dog. We have had our rescue dog for 19 months now and she is wonderful apart from a small minor problems, but sometimes I feel she is lonely and would like a friend. I have told DH before that if I don't get pregnant soon I will get a puppy. He has always said 'No' but today he has agreed once we get a house of our own. I will hold him to that! Of course if I do become pregnant I will not get a puppy as is too much hard work but at least I am wining with DH s l o w l y!!

I am enjoying this ICLW, am trying to become an iron commenter, it is hard work but am coming across lots of great blogs. No where near commenting on every one's yet though!

March IComLeavWe

Welcome all. Cant believe it is this time of the month already!! Last month was my first IComLeavWe and I loved it. Was great to find new blogs and get so many great comments. Here is a quick run down of myself. Happy reading and commenting!

• I am 24, married, have a rescue dog and am a Vet
• I have endometriosis and hypothyroidism
• I have had 1 laparoscopy and may have to have another one soon as my endo pain is so bad
• I came off The pill in October and have been TTC since with a BFN every month!
• I have a little OCD
• I am a half empty kinda girl
• All I want in the world is to be pregnant and have a baby but this is proving to be bit of a struggle

I am attempting to be an iron commenter this month but we shall see!!