Got sun stroke

Not much has been going on lately. I am not enjoying this break, I keep thinking how I would be ovulating today and we should be BD. Instead sex is the last thing on my mind right now!!

Went to the agility dog show yesterday with Maddy. She was a good girl but didn't do very well as she really hurt her back and couldn't manage to jump the larger jumps. She is better today as have given her some pain relief. Yesterday was a lovely hot sunny day though. I got burnt really badly and got sun stroke. I didn't realise I was burning at the time, it was only 10am!

Today has been a retail therapy day. DH is working and I wandered around the shops, trying to clear my mind. I bought a few little things for Rome and some nice trousers for work. I enjoyed myself for once.

I am sorry this post is so boring, it wasn't how I planned it but I cant seem to write properly at the moment. I am teetering on the edge of depression I think. It is stupid I know, but I cant seem to pull myself out of this slum. I am unsure. Is this depression or self pity or both? I don't know, I cant explain how I feel, I feel down, lonely, not fulfilled, empty. Why is it that I am so sure that a baby will make all of these feelings go away? All I know is, I want a baby, I want DH and I to be parents, I want a family.

The phrase springing to mind is what my mum always used to say: 'what you want and what you get are two different things'.