It's over. Again.

AF showed this morning, a day early as ever. I couldn't wait any longer and so tested at lunch. It was negative.
I was at work when AF arrived, had no work on so burst into tears, picked up my bag and left. One friend tried to ask what was wrong, realised, and tried to hug me. I gave her a quick hug, said AF was here and left! I feel bad leaving as my friends were worried bout me but I was struggling to hold it together and I hate crying in front on people!

By the way, my clinic does not do beta's just relies on me POAS!

I'm now sitting on my sofa, feeling pissed off and sorry for myself. I did pick up a big tub of choc icecream on way home and am about to tuck in!

Now where's my wine....?!

Cramping....

I have had major cramping last night and this morning. I am scared it is all over. Some girls I know have had cramping and even bleeding and go on to get a BFP but also we all know cramping signifies your period coming. I am only 8dp5dt. I'm not due to POAS until Friday. Sadly my clinic does not do beta's.
I'm certain it's all over. I've lost my positive thinking!

6dp5dt IVF#3

Not much to report, I have had some cramping yesterday and Friday but that's it. I can't read into it much as its most Lilly endo pain that I always get. I have been thinking about this working and getting so hopefully. The positive mental attitude is going well so far!
What is going to be hard is my close friend and work mate is having her 12week scan on Wednesday and then will be announcing her pregnancy and so will be so hard at work if I get my BFN. On ther other hand, if it's positive I will be so happy and we will have an amazing time both being pregnant. See how positive I am trying to be!!

PUPO! (again!) *updated

So here I am PUPO for the fifth time! Is this gonna be the last time? Is this going to work? Who knows. We had 2 grade 4AA blastocysts transferred today. The best the clinic grades them. My Dr is hopeful, me and DH a little less. Been here before and so far it has ended badly.
Surely this has to work? Just once?

*update* clinic has just e-mail to say we have two blastocysts frozen now as well which is good news!

Embryo update

We have 8 great embryo's that are going strong. The other 5 are still hanging on and the clinic thinks there is every chance they could catch up. All 13 have been moved to the blastocyst culture medium. We are having our 5 day transfer on Monday! I really hope we have quite a few that can be frozen as well.

This is the first time doing a 5 day fresh transfer and the wait is killing me! I just want to have my embryos inside me, where they belong! The upside I guess is that the 2ww will be shorter!

Fert report

The clinic didn't call until 10am but had great news for us; 13 eggs fertilised!!! I am so happy! This is the most embryos we have ever had! Plan is a fresh 5 day transfer on Monday!

I have never done a fesh 5day transfer, only ever frozen 5 day. Let's hope this is it, this is the cycle that finally works for us!

Egg retrieval

Just back from my egg retrieval. Am in a lot of pain but worth it as got 16 eggs!

I trigger tonight!

Had another scan today and I am pleased that all is looking good. My lining is now 14mm (!!), on my left ovary I have 7 follicles about 15-18mm and on the right ovary I have two large follicles at 24mm and another 6 about 13-17mm. I am booked in for egg collection on Wednesday morning which means I trigger tonight! I am pleased that all seems to be on track, but I am so nervous about egg collection. My last two have not been great experiences. I just hope I sedate properly this time.

Post stim scan

Had my first post stim scan. All was looking good. My lining is 12mm which is great! I have 1 large 20mm follicle, a couple 16mm and the rest 10 and 12mm. I go back on Monday for another scan and it looks like my egg collection will be on Wednesday. So far so good!

I am not feeling too bad. I have aches and pains in my ovaries, but bloated and feel tired but otherwise doing well

Day 5 of injections

Things are going ok so far with my injections. I have one site that has become red, raised and sore but rest are fine. I have had a couple of dizzy spells and mild headaches but that's all. I am a bit bloated but think that has more to do with Christmas than anything else!!

I think so far less side effects than usual, but I am on the short protocol this time and I think having Suprecure and at same time is better.

I keep think what if this does not work? What next? I am trying to focus on this cycle but I am not allowing myself to. I think I am not allowing myself to get too hopeful as so far each one has not worked so why will this be any different? That said, it is different; different protocol and intralipids. Does this mean different outcome? I wish I knew already!!!

It's started!

Had my baseline this morning for IVF#3 and done my 1st injection this evening! I am excited, nervous, hopeful and feel defeated all at the same time! This is going to be a rollercoaster! Can't believe I am back on the crazy train again?

One question I have is when should I start my baby aspirin?