PUPO! (again!) *updated

So here I am PUPO for the fifth time! Is this gonna be the last time? Is this going to work? Who knows. We had 2 grade 4AA blastocysts transferred today. The best the clinic grades them. My Dr is hopeful, me and DH a little less. Been here before and so far it has ended badly.
Surely this has to work? Just once?

*update* clinic has just e-mail to say we have two blastocysts frozen now as well which is good news!

PUPO!!

I am PUPO!! I had my transfer at 12pm and had two embryos transferred. One blastocyst was looking good, cells already differentiating! The other one is borderline, only 50% of cells alive, but still aparently viable. I am very pleased. Now just the dreaded 2ww! OTD is 17th Oct.

I am laying on the sofa, keeping my legs (and fingers and toes!) crossed!

Thank you to all for my well wishes, means a lot.

I am now PUPO!!

Transfer went well. I now have two grade 2 - 8 cell embies in me (the other caught up!). They got stuck in the catheter first time and so had to be done all over again. The embryologist made a joke they must be boys as they are misbehaving already! I figured they are very sticky and this is a good sign!!

I now have a long 2ww. I am trying to remain hopeful. These are the best embies I have had transfered. I hope they stick!! Until then I am PUPO!!!

Here are the pictures of my beautiful babies!

Transfer this lunch time!

Clinic just called and we are going for transfer today at 1.15pm!
All embies survived the weekend. Two are looking OK, one is a grade 2- 8 cell and other is grade 2.5- 6 cell. The other 4 they are watching and will see if they will make it to day 5 to freeze.

I guess I am a little disappointed with the grades but I realise grade 1's do not always mean a pregnancy and some have had a grade 3 put in and feel pregnant! We shall see.

I was wondering how much rest you guys have after a transfer? Thankfully I have all week off work as I took it as holiday. I am having to drive there and back to clinic today and drive to acupuncture tomorrow for my last session. I presume if I do nothing in between that will be fine? I hope so!

I am excited to have my babies put back inside me and be PUPO again!!

5dp5dt - felin hot!

Another boring post I am afraid! Still counting down the days, they are going so slowly!

Not much has changed from yesterday. One thing that DH keep commenting on over the last two days is that I feel very hot! My temp is def up, I am hot, he cant hug me at night as I am too warm. I am never warm, ever, I am like a fridge! Is this a side effect of the progesterone? I didnt have it last cycle. I have also felt sicky this morning again. I am sensible enough to know it is too early and any signs are due to progesterone, but the warmth as well?

The two people who know about our IVF and FET are starting to ask when I will find out. I hate the added pressure, one of the reasons I have not told family.

I really hope that Emma and Brian (the names of our two embryo's for some reason!) have snuggled down.

4dp5dt

Help, I am bored, restless and sick of this 2ww already!! My mind is working in over drive and I am half wanting to POAS (WAY too early I know!!!) and the other half of me never wants to POAS as I want to stay PUPO forever! I realise that it doesn't make sense. I guess I am desperate to know, but scared it hasn't worked.

Bad thing, but I cant help but google. I have found people that got a BFP on 4dp5dt. Surely that cant be right?!!?

I have found a forum that I have joined recently, it is for my fertility clinic and all the girls are cycling there with me. Two of the girls have just got a BFP which is amazing. There seems to be a lot of BFP's this time round and a few minor good things seem to be happening to me at the mo (which is rare) and so I semi optimistic but also scared I am using up all my good luck. DO you think there is only a certain number of BFP's that are handed out each round and once the quota is used up, everyone else gets a BFN?

Wow, I am screwed up at the mo. I realise all of the above is just a load of brain dribble. Sorry. I just had to get it out of my system!!

Oh and I made a fool out of myself the other day, I walked out of the doctors crying because the doctor told me I was losing my hair because of the IVF meds and there wasnt anything she could do but check my thyroid. I am already being treated for hypothyroidism! She did give me some shampoo which is helping with the dandruff but now my hair loss. I never cry in public, especially not whilst walking out of my doctors, surrounded by a few clients and everyone staring at me! SO embarrassing!!

Going bald, help!

Has anyone ever found that their hair started falling out and getting dry clumps of dandruff on your scalp during IVF/FET treatment? I seemed to have got all of the side effects of these drugs like headaches, insomnia and bad guts, all of which I can cope with but I am losing my hair! I am starting to notice thinning of my hair line and it is upsetting! Help! The IF clinic has not heard of it, my GP told me it was rare and gave me some shampoo, but nothing is helping! If I do get PG and have to stay on these meds until 12 weeks, I am scared I will be completely bald! Maybe I should start collecting all of my hair that falls out to make my self a wig! Seriously though, it is really bothering me.

On a plus side I am PUPO which is always exciting and I am trying to rest but I know this 2ww is going to go so slow. Yay to being 1dp5dt!

PUPO!

Had my transfer a couple of hours ago. They put both back in as the second blastocyst was showing signs of life which is good! The transfer this time was great. I had a different doctor and he scanned me at the same time as putting the catheter in and I watched the air bubbles go in with the two embryos. Was very cool!!

I am now hopefully and excited at the moment. I know this 2ww week will be up and down as normal. My test date is the 11th October and again I do not have a beta, just pee on a stick and call them with the results which is crap!!

I so hope this works. I have one great blastocyst and I semi OK blastocyst, if at least one could stick that would be amazing!!

Clinic called...

.... with some good news! One embie has definitely survived the thaw. The other is a bit 'ify' at the moment but they will keep watching and will most prob stick it back in as well as there is nothing to lose!! I am so pleased we have something to transfer!!!

Now have to wait a couple of hours before I go in for the transfer. I have had to call in 'sick' today for work. I feel so bad, I hate screwing people over, but a baby is far more important that work!!

In a few housr I will be PUPO!! Bring on the 2ww!!

Scan went ok(ish)

Had a different nurse today (again) and so had to explain my history again. She asked me how I was doing and I told her not good. I had bad guts, losing my hair, bad dandruff and had a flash bleed this morning (thankfully this has stopped now).

When she scanned me I was nearly in tears, she was so rough and couldn't find anything! No one has had a problem scanning me other than it is sometimes tender. She eventually found my cyst was still there, but my uterine lining is about 8mm and so thick enough.

After the nurse speaking to the doctor and another nurse, it was decided we will go ahead with the FET! I do my last lupron injection this evening and then start my progesterone suppositories tomorrow! My FET will be going ahead on Thursday if all continues to be well.

In less than a week I will be PUPO as long as I do not bleed again and my two frosties thaw ok. I realise they are both still big if's. Please let this work this time.

3dp3dt

It has been 3 days since my embryo transfer (is that all?!?) All is fine with me apart from the fact I am bored of this 2ww and feeling very inpatient!!

I have been trying to take it easy and keep my mind active at the same time. This is harder than I thought it would be! DH is struggling even more than me!!

Half of me wants to start peeing on sticks and watch to see if I get two lines (I wont, I don't have loads of money to throw away!), but half of me wants to remain PUPO as it is nice to think I have 2 little babies inside me!! It is scary to think it might not work, I might get a bfn and then I wont be PUPO, I wont rub my belly and secretly talk to my little babies.

DH and I have names for our two little babies - Shelly and Eggbert (get the joke? ha ha I am sooo funny!They are also from Ice age 3 film)

I am hoping Shelly and Eggbert are starting to snuggle down today, or at least by the weekend! Come on, snuggle down, its nice and warm and safe!!

*side note* IF sends us crazy; we talk to embryo's, analyse every little twinge, check our cervix, shove suppositories up ourselves and repeatedly stab ourselves with multiple drugs. All in the hope and dream of a baby!!

We have two to freeze!!

Got a call from the clinic this afternoon, one of the other embryo's have turned into a blastocyst and so we have two to freeze!! I am so happy for a couple of reasons. Mainly that we have a plan to fall back on, but also because it gives me hope as the lower grades have made it to this stage, so hopefully my better grade embryo's inside me are doing well!

DH is getting more frustrated with this 2ww than I am, if that's at all possible!!

We had a very down morning, but now feeling a lot happier and more hopeful.

Thanks to all who are thinking sticky thoughts and giving words of encouragement. Really does help

I keep talking to my babies inside me and rubbing my belly, giving them words of encouragement! Crazy I know, but it is amazing that I am PUPO! I just hope this continues!

We transferred two!!

All went well with the transfer. All 10 had made it to today, but a couple looked like they have stopped dividing. We had a chat with our RE and it as was decided to transfer two. One was a grade 1-2 8 cell and the other was a grade 2 8 cell. We have three that will be frozen as the others will most prob be no good.

The transfer was pretty much painless, all went well. I am now PUPO!!!!

I cant stop smiling!! These next two weeks until I POAS is going to go so slow!!

Thanks to everyone for their support, such a great help. No think sticky thoughts all!!