Hospital and last injection!

Had my last injection just now! Going to be a weekend of horrible side effects, but it's my last one! Am so happy! I wonder how long it will take for my cycles to start back up?

Went to hospital yesterday. Left v pissed off, had to wait 1 hour to see my surgeon. When I finally got to see him, he didn't remember me or my surgery and started to talk about getting a diagnosis.... Er I have endometriosis! Anyway, the final outcome was I need a 3rd lap to get rid of my endo or what ever it is and then check my tubes and evaluate whether I will be able to concieve naturally. I'm feeling there's a lot of de ja vu going on... That was the whole point of last lap, and they failed to do that. How do I know that they will do it this time? If I can't concieve naturally he will refer me so we can go straight to IVF. The date of my lap is 24th November. That's not far away! A bit nervous. Also not looking forward to the bowel prep the day before. Shitting through the eye of a needle for a day will be no fun!

5th injection already!

Had my 5th injection today, cant believe how fast these last 4 weeks have gone! Only one more to go! This one bloody hurt, nurse had never given it before and she was very hesitant!

I found out today one of my friends who I went to uni with is 12 weeks pregnant. Finding out on facebook is not the best way. I have to say, I had a little cry and the horrible green eyed monster appeared! I am a jealous cow! I am very happy for them, very excited for them but I wish it was me as well. I know you guys all understand that feeling. It just sucks to have soooo many pregnant people around and you are not one of them and there is no chance you will be one of them any time soon.

I am dreading this weekend as on duty and will have the worst of my emotional side effects, feel sorry for DH as he will have to ride the emotional roller coaster with me!

A substitute baby....!

I have a new puppy!! His name is Scamp!! He is a wire haired fox terrier cross and is about 12 weeks old!! He is a rescue puppy! I got him on Wednesday afternoon from a foster home and he is adorable! He has settled in with us and Maddy so well!

I have been wanting a baby for so long (as you all know!) but that's not going to happen for a while so I decided to get a puppy. I found him through word of mouth, he had been mistreated and I fell in love with him when I saw him!!

What with moving into our new home and getting a puppy, I have not had anytime for myself, let alone blogging. Everything is fine though. I have my 5th injection on Thursday, cant believe how quick it has come round!

Crap weekend, updated

DH is away, I am on duty, I have been busy, I am tired, I have a migraine, I am emotional, I have pains in my belly and I still have another 56 hours of being on duty! I have already been on duty for 52 hours!!

Sorry, this is a complaining post! I am just feeling tired, emotional and lonely! I am hating the side effects of my 4th injection and I am hating being on duty. With DH being away it is getting a bit too much for me!

I also feel being on duty for 108 hours straight is illegal but what can I do about it?!?! If I complain and refuse to work I can lose my job!

****update****
I am a vet and work all day and night on call. I am able to rest and sleep in between emergencies but can get called out any time of day and night. I have been very busy, got called out at 5 am this morning and had a late night last night. Am very tired!!

We exchanged contracts on our house!!

We have finally exchanged contracts on our house and will be getting the keys in a weeks time!! Am very excited!! Cant believe we have bought our first house together!! We are off to buy paint and bits and bobs for the house tonight! So exciting!!

On a not so good point I am having my 4th zoladex injection tomorrow. Not looking forward to the horse size needle or the side effects that will come with it this weekend. Will be a weekend of crying and emotional roller coaster and sadly DH is away for the whole weekend and I am working it all. Not going to be good... but we have bought our house!!!!! Yay!!

Hangover from hell!

Went out with the girls from work last night and it turned into a heavy session!! I haven't had a drink for months because of my injections and the hot flushes and before that because of TTC and trying to get my body in shape. Well last night I think I had one too many!! I don't remember what I did when I got home but I woke up this morning with no clothes on, in bed and with a stinking hangover!! I laid in bed for about 4 hours, took a few pills and have finally braved getting up!!

Was a great night, had a laugh and was the first time I have felt happy for a long time. I was a little too drunk though. The thing that clarified it was when my friend reminded me that I found a pink barbie scooter and was scooting around pub car park at midnight!! My friend K took some photos! I am just waiting for them to appear on facebook. I really hope they don't!!

My side effects are in full swing though. I have spent most of the weekend sitting on the sofa in tears. Stupid things keep setting me off. I don't know what I am crying about half the time. It is just the stupid injections. The crap thing is that DH is away working this weekend and I am missing him. I hate it, he always seems to be away the weekend after my injection which is when I am the most emotional and vulnerable. DH is away again in 4 weeks time, the weekend after injection number 4 and he will be away for 5 days. Really not looking forward to it. I am quite independent and not very needy, I just miss him and miss his hugs. His hugs make me feel safe and make me feel like everything will be OK. Maybe it is a good thing that he does not wittness me in tears all the time, it wouldnt be fair in him.

Since us deciding we were going to start TTC, we have had to deal with my endometriosis, my operation, my injections, my side effects, my MRI and liver nodules, my operation in a few months and the thought of maybe having to go down the IVF route. It is has thankfully bought us even closer which is a good thing as it has the potential to tear us apart. I am very lucky and thankful that I have a wonderful DH. I have always known it but sometimes reminding yourself is not a bad thing.

3rd injection

Halfway there with my injections! 3 more to go!! On the down side that does mean 4 more months of suppression, hot flushes, dizzy spells, cold sweats! Oh well, man up!

This one hurt slightly less than the others but I am bruised still. I am sure a lot of you know how I feel with your multiple injections each day. I impressed how you manage to stick so many needles into you. I am unsure if I would cope. Saying that, I would do anything for a baby!

House buying stress

We are in the process of buying our first house which is very exciting! we found in nice three bed house with extension in our area and are getting it at a reasonable price. We we meant to exchange a week and a half ago and things were going well but all of a sudden everything has ground to a halt. We did not exchange, we don't know when we will exchange and I am about to tear my hair out! I am getting impatient, we just want to get our house now and move in! We have been house buying since April, the first house fell through, I really don't want this one to as well!!

I think the house buying stress and my break from TTC is spurring me on to keep running and dieting. The running seems to clear my head and stops me from thinking and gets rid of some of my stress which is good.

3rd injection is on Thursday. Not looking forward to being stabbed with a horse size needle but i keep telling myself this is the third injection, only 3 more left to go!!

No other news sadly. No monitoring my cycle, no monitoring my temperature, no analysing every twinge as there is nothing to analyse or monitor. I am still having hot flushes and some dizzy spells but I am managing ok.

Three day weekend!!

I have worked 11 days straight and within that 7 nights as well!! I have been busy and it has been so stressful. I am exhausted but I have three days off now!

I have just been for a 4 mile run in the pissing rain! I did it in 40n Min's, so 10 min miles is not bad for me and my short clumsy legs!! I had my weigh in at fat fighters on Wednesday night and I have lost a couple more pounds! I am now down to my wedding weight!! I am very happy! The only problem is, when I look in the mirror I don't think I look any slimmer, I don't feel as slim as I did last year for my wedding. I must be slimmer though as I can now fit into my size UK 12 clothes (USA 8) which I couldn't before!

On suppression side of things, I am having a few hot flushes, few ups and downs emotion wise, but not too bad. I am due my next injection on Thursday which I am dreading. Not only because the needle is big, but because the side effects are bad in the first week and a half. This is my third injection though, so half way through the jabs! The ticker is going so slow though, wish I could speed up time. It feels these 6 months are a waste of my life.

Should I be bleeding?

I had my 2nd zoladex injection last week to suppress my ovaries. For the last two days I have been bleeding a bit, its not a full blown period but enough there to have to use a tampon. I thought with these injections you have a bleed after the first injection and then that is it, no period for 6 months. I was hanging on to the no period side effect, trying to make a positive out of so many negatives. Looks like I have lost my only positive! Thankfully I only have minor discomfort and not my usual period pains. I am still wondering whether I should be bleeding?