I have not posted for a few days as I am sick of writing 'poor me' posts and writing about nothing. Sadly I still do not have anything of any substance to write! I am in limbo, I am waiting. I ovulated this weekend but DH was away and we were having a month off. Such a strange and frustrating time. We should be TTC, not doing nothing!
I am awaiting AF to show and then I get my baseline booked in ready for my FET.
I am very excited about the FET, but I am also very scared. Scared of them not surviving the defrosting, scared of getting a BFN, scared of having to go through an IVF cycle and egg retrieval etc. Mostly scared of not ever having a baby.
I am struggling with my friend at work who is pregnant. She is having her 20 week scan a couple of days before my FET. She is happily pregnant and getting bigger. I am pleased for her but am jealous. I hate myself for it. She had her 12 week scan a couple of days before my IVf transfer. It is hard she is reaching great milestones and I am still trying to get pregnant. She knows of my IF troubles and she is asking how I am and is not doing anything to upset me on purpose, it is just the usual she is pregnant and I am not issues.
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I am sorry your not able to do anything this cycle. I hope your fet is the one for you. Don't feel bad for being jealous of your co-worker. I am the exact same way.
ReplyDeleteYou know what? Be thankful that you have these feelings. It is much better to feel than to not feel at all. Or to hide it. It is completely natural to be jealous- this is not a materialistic object, but a baby. I think your time will come. Soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry nothing seems to be happening. It's so frustrating when you feel that way. I hope though that the FET cycle will work and be the magic cycle! I can relate to the "pregnant friend at work" situation. I also have a friend at work who is pregnant and, although she is not doing anything to rub it in my face, I can't help but feel jealous. She's a single mom of a 6 year old and this pregnancy was an accident. She's not even with the father of this baby and we've been trying for nearly 7 years with no luck. That is a tough thing to swallow. But I digress. Keeping my fingers crossed for you for a great FET cycle!
ReplyDeleteWhen do you start the FET? I'm waiting on my period too...and we'll start in the next week or two with some birth control. HUGS!
ReplyDelete(((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I know those feelings and you're completely normal. I'm thinking of you. (((HUGS)))
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