I know, I know, I am meant to be feeling and being positive, but I am struggling. I am often on the edge of depression and manage to bring myself out of it before I slip too deep, but it is a struggle at the moment.
I am sure it is the drugs and I saw my very PG friend today and she looks amazing with her large bump. I also found out that the girl that anounced her pregnancy to me the other day fell pregnant on her first month of trying. Fan-fucking-tastic!
My period has arrived today so I guess I am at CD1. This is a good thing as I have my baseline on Friday amd can hopefully start my stims after that.
I just want to sit here and cry which is not like me at all. I am not allowing myself to cry, I am not too sure why. I know crying is not a sign of weakness, but I am worried once I start I can not stop. I do not really have anything to cry about, I am only at the beginning of my cycle, it has every chance of working. It is just these dam drugs and the side effects truely kicking in!!
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Crying is definitely not a sign of weakness! I find that an ugly cry now and again resets me. But the thing is I only let myself cry for a short period of time, and then I tell myself I am DONE and that is all that it deserves to steal from my life. I found you through IComLeavWe. Looking forward to reading about your upcoming IVF! Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteI think we can all relate to those low moments. I know no matter how hard I try to remain positive, that depression and sadness inevitably seep their way in. I'll be praying for a change in hear. After all, you need to be filled with positive vibes and hope as you go into your second IVF. :)
ReplyDeleteTry to remember that some of these feelings could be due to the change in hormones...I was a mess on BCP. Crying is okay...it will make you feel better. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to stop by and say I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best of luck!
ReplyDeleteI remember them days when I couldn't stop crying because I wanted to be pregnant and I couldn't handle being around anything baby.
*hugs*
I will never forget my TTC girls!
Have you tried looking up herbs that help you get pregnant?
I'm going to write a post on what helped me get pregnant(herbs) so maybe you should take a look and read.
Praying for a BFP for YOU this year!
Yea for cd1! Awesome cycle here you come. If your sad, be sad. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteSorry you are feeling down. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI know this feeling! I've been feeling very down myself lately. And don't you just love those "we got pregnant on the first try!" people? I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I just want to kick them!
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon!
Sorry you have been feeling low. Although with all you have been through, are going through right now, and all the pregnancy anouncements an such.. I can understand why.
ReplyDeleteI'm Hoping with all my Heart that you get the baby your heart has been desiring for VERY SOON:)
Try not to beat yourself up about feeling down. Hoping you have better days this week. I'm excited that you'll be starting Stims soon!
Huge Hugs,
Hannah
I hope you are feeling better today than yesterday. No worries....we are all allowed our "down" moments. It happens to me too....I let the fear sink in and then get very down and negative. You have so much to look foward to though....focus on that! Before you know it...you'll be doing your transfer and then getting your BFP!!
ReplyDeleteI'm doing fine....still only doing the lupron, so not too much else to report. I think AF will be arriving on the 11th, so I'll start stims on the 13th if all looks good with US and BW. Pretty much just waiting on that and trying to stay positive!