All last night I had bad dreams. Mostly was me finding out I wasn't pregnant and me having to have an op and me having to go to a RE and start on clomid and IUI. I woke up panicking this morn that this all may happen. Thing is, this time last month I was dreaming that I was pregnant all the time. When I POAS I was negative. Does this mean that my dreams are opposite to what is real and this time I will be positive? I think that is what one calls wishful thinking!!! Maybe I am just being more realistic this month and not allowing myself to get my hopes up.
Spent the weekend over my in-laws. Was a nice weekend, hadn't seen them for a while so was all good. My SIL and Baby B came over briefly Sunday morning but he was very unwell so couldn't stay long. I couldn't believe how much he has changed in a few weeks; he is now starting to walk unaided and is a lot more talkative which was nice.
Why is it when you are TTC there are all of a sudden pregnant people and babies everywhere? Why do I notice it all the time. I then start wondering whether that person who is pregnant had trouble conceiving, whether I was planned or a lovely surprise. I am suddenly trying to over analyse everything. I need to learn to chill out!!
I went shopping yesterday and bought myself a nice top, needed to treat myself. Was sitting in a cafe and noticed a cute baby, she must have been about 8 months old. There was her father sitting her on his lap and feeding her some food. There was something lovely about that scene for some reason. Him on his own with her, feeding her, pushing her around on his own. He seemed so relaxed and happy. I want to be that relaxed and happy.......
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Oh, I do hope you are pregnant soon! I think the dreams are just a reflection of everything you are dealing with...it digs itself deep into your psyche and needs an outlet. Your dreams are that outlet.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes!
Try to do something relaxing , maybe some meditation or deep breathing, before bedtime. You have plenty of time for trying before you even have to wonder about getting checked out. Most RE's don't even want to see you if you haven't tried for at least a year. My hub & I went after 14-15 months just to start testing. at 20 months ttc we did a clomid IUI. (Which is still nothing to panic over, but I do understand not wanting to have to get there)
ReplyDeleteTake your time- enjoy as much as you can while you can. I know how the bellies pop out when you start ttc- they're suddenly everywhere! (It's so weird to me that I am now one of them!) But try to think of it as inspiration- many more women get pregnant within a year of trying than don't & there is no need to jump ahead & worry & stress yourself out! (I can say this only because I am so very type A that I know exactly how easy it is to do just that- I do it all the time!)
Good luck!