Had a cry

Had another shit day at work. I am exhausted and on duty again tonight. My stomach cramps have been bad all day. I have felt sick and had a migraine. I have also been told I look terrible. I looked in the mirror and they were right, I was a horrible grey colour! I have decided I wont go into work tomorrow if I feel this ill. Today was such a struggle.

I have been sitting here catching up on all the blogs I haven't read for a while and watching a bit of TV. I received a mail from a baby website today and it was all about coping with not conceiving. It was as if they knew I had just got a BFN. That was enough for me to burst into tears. Thankfully DH is not at home to witness that small out burst but I do feel better for it.

Was very sad to turn my fertility monitor on this morning and set it to day 1. I know it is a new cycle, new chance to get pregnant but it is still hard to deal with. Having to go through the highs and lows, the hope and misery of TTC and getting another BFN at the end of it all.

I am not in a good place right now. My really bad AF is not helping and the increasing number of pregnancy announcements is making me worse. I know I will feel better once AF is gone but right now I am not great.

Extra note: I have decided new cycle new look to blog, shall do this every cycle. Lets hope I can find enough designs to keep me going!! Who knows how long this may take!