Lucky number 3

So this is cycle #3 for us. I realise for most of you out there in relation to you I have not been trying long at all, but I have been through a lot of health issues and operations before I could get to this stage of even contemplating TTC so the journey has been a lot longer than just these three cycles. (Sorry I know this sounds like I am being defensive but I didn't want to offend anyone by talking about my struggle if you think I am only on cycle #3 and that's it).

Anyway I have decided it will be lucky for us this cycle (its called positive thinking!!) I am going to change my way of thinking, the way I act and be a little less obsessive as it obviously didn't work last cycle!! My DH said that we will have more sex this cycle, I agree that we need to. I think he found it hard having sex when I was fertile as I only wanted him for his sperm!! It is not common for a man to be this sensitive, that is usually the women's job!!! I think I have managed to get him out of the the 'lets wait and see, if it happens it happens' type mentality and we are both going to go for it this cycle instead of just me!

As far as my period is going, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I feel rubbish, the pain is bad and one minute I don't feel like eating and the next I want to eat 10 large chocolate bars! It really is not helping my diet but times like these I need a little chocolate, maybe not the whole 10 bars though!! My emotions are all over the place and because of this DH is trying to avoid me, but this only makes me angry!! He is doing his best though.

I was thinking yesterday how having a period is such a punishment for us who are TTC. Not only have we just received a BFN either by testing or finding aunt flo has arrived, but we then have to put up with hell for a week. I suffer badly with periods due to my endometriosis and so every BFN I get it is extra hard as I then go through a week of severe pain and feeling extremely unwell. Oh well, the joys of being a woman!

Looking back on my post I realise I am not quite as down as yesterday. That doesnt mean I am over my dissapointment but I am now trying to look to the future and this new cycle. Dweling on the past will not help.